Getting engaged

In times long past, ‘getting engaged’ or ‘the betrothal’ was the major part of the marrying process and the ‘getting married’ a less significant ceremony, for the final sealing of the marriage contract.

In recent times, the “betrothal” has been downgraded into an ‘engagement party’ with very little or no ceremony.

Increasingly couples are seeing their engagement as an opportunity to celebrate their commitment to marry and set goals for their relationship

An engagement or betrothal ceremony may be small and intimate with only immediate family and friends or it may be a larger event with the couple's wider family and friendship network.

An ‘Engagement or Betrothal’ ceremony may

• Review the couple’s journey as individuals and as a couple
• Outline the couple’s expectations, hopes and dreams for the future
• Provide an opportunity for parents and other married couples’ to share the challenges and benefits, and associated experiences of married life.
• Celebrate the couple’s love and commitment to one another.

Ceremonies usually involve music, singing, story-telling, poetry, prose and could also involve dance, processions and the use of symbols such as lighting candles or using Dreams & Treasure boxes. Such a ceremony could involve families, peer and community groups participating as much as possible.

The role of a celebrant would be to:

• work with the group to plan the ceremony for its form and content are psychologically and socially appropriate
• lead and guide the ceremony through its various stages
• conclude the ceremony, by affirming the participants and the value of this next stage of life’s journey

Ceremonies are usually followed by some food and drink, again appropriate to the situation. Depending on where such an event is held, such a meal could be a picnic, an BYO luncheon or afternoon tea in a community hall or catered for by a restaurant or function centre.

Being newer ceremonies finding a celebrant to use may take a little time. Please contact us if you need assistance locating such a celebrant.

If you have ideas to share about how such a ceremony could work or suggestions for its components, please contact us. 

If you have been to such a ceremony and would like to share with others the things that worked and things to avoid let is know.