The Marriage Celebrant by Karen Faa

Ever wondered what it is like to be a Marriage Celebrant?  Celebrant and trainer, Karen Faa from Queensland explains it so well...

The Marriage Celebrant, by Karen Faa  (2004)

Oh Tell us,

What is it like to be a marriage celebrant? 

Is it Glamorous and Fun?

Espousing words of love, 

and the art of marriage in front of everyone?

Fantastic venues, beach weddings, 

Gorgeous brides, and flowergirls so cute

Fixing flowers on lapels, 

an excuse to have hair do’s 

and a designer suit.

Oh Yes, we say, but…..

You can never have a bad hair day, 

lose your voice, your dog, or even your mum

Because you must be upbeat, positive, 

professional, and never glum

You are actor, stage manager, director, 

and never get phased,

By wedding photographers, musicians, 

wedding planners and dj’s.

We have to be audible, control crowds, 

and be culturally aware

Climb mountains, down cliffs, hot air balloons, 

go underwater if you dare

We’ve been rained on, windblown, 

swooped, pooped – oh the mozzies - please!

Stood in green ants, hot sand, 

and faced glare in summer’s 42 degrees.

We’ve married rocket scientists, 

yuppies, hippies and Goths,

Executed sand ceremonies, handfastings, candle lighting, and released beautiful doves

Coped with missing rings, and groomsmen, 

fainting bridesmaids, and dead butterflies,

And parents who have not spoken for years, 

and heard plenty of lies.

We’ve worked with dogs and kids 

and feared the dreaded Bridezillas

Oh, and we have to look great too, 

can we claim for Botox and Fillers?

A celebrant must be smart, and thorough 

and sharp as a tack,

Comply with the Code of Practice, the Guidelines

and the Marriage Act

Miss professional development one year 

and we know what is at stake

And all for the love of it – after all – 

We’re cheaper than the cake!

Oh yeah, and our holidays are booked a year in advance 

Ask us for weekends away? 

Not a chance!

So next Saturday when you sip a chardy 

you know where we’ll be,

All dolled up, talking of love 

and calming a bride to be!

By Karen Faa

Celebrant and Trainer

Based on the Sunshine Coast, Qld