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The Marriage Celebrant by Karen Faa
Ever wondered what it is like to be a Marriage Celebrant? Celebrant and trainer, Karen Faa from Queensland explains it so well...
The Marriage Celebrant, by Karen Faa (2004)
Oh Tell us,
What is it like to be a marriage celebrant?
Is it Glamorous and Fun?
Espousing words of love,
and the art of marriage in front of everyone?
Fantastic venues, beach weddings,
Gorgeous brides, and flowergirls so cute
Fixing flowers on lapels,
an excuse to have hair do’s
and a designer suit.
Oh Yes, we say, but…..
You can never have a bad hair day,
lose your voice, your dog, or even your mum
Because you must be upbeat, positive,
professional, and never glum
You are actor, stage manager, director,
and never get phased,
By wedding photographers, musicians,
wedding planners and dj’s.
We have to be audible, control crowds,
and be culturally aware
Climb mountains, down cliffs, hot air balloons,
go underwater if you dare
We’ve been rained on, windblown,
swooped, pooped – oh the mozzies - please!
Stood in green ants, hot sand,
and faced glare in summer’s 42 degrees.
We’ve married rocket scientists,
yuppies, hippies and Goths,
Executed sand ceremonies, handfastings, candle lighting, and released beautiful doves
Coped with missing rings, and groomsmen,
fainting bridesmaids, and dead butterflies,
And parents who have not spoken for years,
and heard plenty of lies.
We’ve worked with dogs and kids
and feared the dreaded Bridezillas
Oh, and we have to look great too,
can we claim for Botox and Fillers?
A celebrant must be smart, and thorough
and sharp as a tack,
Comply with the Code of Practice, the Guidelines
and the Marriage Act
Miss professional development one year
and we know what is at stake
And all for the love of it – after all –
We’re cheaper than the cake!
Oh yeah, and our holidays are booked a year in advance
Ask us for weekends away?
Not a chance!
So next Saturday when you sip a chardy
you know where we’ll be,
All dolled up, talking of love
and calming a bride to be!
By Karen Faa
Celebrant and Trainer
Based on the Sunshine Coast, Qld
Hi there, I loved this poem and looking forward to all of that in my life. I am a student. I'm nearly finished, and have enjoyed every minute and can't wait to jump head first into my new career.
Karen, you have summed up our job beautifully! Would love to share (with your permission and acknowledgement of author, of course) on my FB page to get the word out on what we do - not just the five minutes work it is so often assumed