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The Marriage Celebrant by Karen Faa

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Ever wondered what it is like to be a Marriage Celebrant?  Celebrant and trainer, Karen Faa from Queensland explains it so well...

 

The Marriage Celebrant, by Karen Faa  (2004)


Oh Tell us,

What is it like to be a marriage celebrant? 

Is it Glamorous and Fun?

Espousing words of love, 

and the art of marriage in front of everyone?

 

Fantastic venues, beach weddings, 

Gorgeous brides, and flowergirls so cute

Fixing flowers on lapels, 

an excuse to have hair do’s 

and a designer suit.

 

Oh Yes, we say, but…..

 

You can never have a bad hair day, 

lose your voice, your dog, or even your mum

Because you must be upbeat, positive, 

professional, and never glum

You are actor, stage manager, director, 

and never get phased,

By wedding photographers, musicians, 

wedding planners and dj’s.

 

We have to be audible, control crowds, 

and be culturally aware

Climb mountains, down cliffs, hot air balloons, 

go underwater if you dare

We’ve been rained on, windblown, 

swooped, pooped – oh the mozzies - please!

Stood in green ants, hot sand, 

and faced glare in summer’s 42 degrees.

 

We’ve married rocket scientists, 

yuppies, hippies and Goths,

Executed sand ceremonies, handfastings, candle lighting, and released beautiful doves

 

Coped with missing rings, and groomsmen, 

fainting bridesmaids, and dead butterflies,

And parents who have not spoken for years, 

and heard plenty of lies.

We’ve worked with dogs and kids 

and feared the dreaded Bridezillas

Oh, and we have to look great too, 

can we claim for Botox and Fillers?

 

A celebrant must be smart, and thorough 

and sharp as a tack,

Comply with the Code of Practice, the Guidelines

and the Marriage Act

Miss professional development one year 

and we know what is at stake

And all for the love of it – after all – 

We’re cheaper than the cake!

 

Oh yeah, and our holidays are booked a year in advance 

Ask us for weekends away? 

Not a chance!

So next Saturday when you sip a chardy 

you know where we’ll be,

All dolled up, talking of love 

and calming a bride to be!

 

By Karen Faa

Celebrant and Trainer

Based on the Sunshine Coast, Qld

 

Comments 7

Marjory Wood on Thursday, 04 March 2021 17:13

Hi there, I loved this poem and looking forward to all of that in my life. I am a student. I'm nearly finished, and have enjoyed every minute and can't wait to jump head first into my new career.

Hi there, I loved this poem and looking forward to all of that in my life. I am a student. I'm nearly finished, and have enjoyed every minute and can't wait to jump head first into my new career. :D
Karen Faa on Wednesday, 24 February 2021 16:31
Thanks so much everyone! Glad you can see yourselves in this one. It'll be in the book!

Suzi White on Wednesday, 24 February 2021 16:03
Brilliant

Great description Karen, all "just in a days work" that we do for love

Great description Karen, all "just in a days work" that we do for love:D
Mhairi CLARK on Wednesday, 24 February 2021 14:31
Clever lady

What a fun way to put all of this together! Can recognize everything in there!

What a fun way to put all of this together! Can recognize everything in there!
Guest - Michaela Von der Borch (website) on Wednesday, 24 February 2021 13:12
Celebrancy in a nutshell!

Karen, you have summed up our job beautifully! Would love to share (with your permission and acknowledgement of author, of course) on my FB page to get the word out on what we do - not just the five minutes work it is so often assumed

Karen, you have summed up our job beautifully! Would love to share (with your permission and acknowledgement of author, of course) on my FB page to get the word out on what we do - not just the five minutes work it is so often assumed :p
Sonia Collins on Wednesday, 24 February 2021 12:31
Thank you

That sums our world up so well Karen. Thank you for this morning’s smile ?

That sums our world up so well Karen. Thank you for this morning’s smile ?
Guest - Michelle on Wednesday, 24 February 2021 12:18
Love your words!!



This is brilliant, Great work Karen!!

:D This is brilliant, Great work Karen!!
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