Should you write your own Vows?

Should you write your own wedding vows?  For so many couples, this is not an easy question to answer... but never fear, Celebrant Melissa Jones from Goulburn, NSW is helping us to navigate through.

It can be a daunting task to write your own vows.  Summing up your love, dreams and promises to your partner in a few short minutes can be overwhelming but at the same time, well worth the effort.  It is a chance to share meaningful words with the person you have chosen to be with for life.

Talk with your partner and decide together how long you want your vows to be.  This ensures you both have something of a similar length and takes away the worry that you haven’t done enough.  That said, you also need to remember your guests are present when these will be read so you don’t want to write a novel either!  Generally anything from a paragraph or two, up to half a page is a good length.

So where do you start?  Start by asking yourself some questions and jotting down some thoughts that come to mind.  Ask yourself:

• What did you think the first time you saw your partner? 
• When did you first realise you were in love?
• At what moment did you realise this person was the one you wanted to marry?
• What do you love most about them?
• What have they taught you?
• What are the little things they do for you that you really appreciate?
• What would life me like without them?
• What does marriage mean to you?
• What are your dreams for your future together?

Once you have some ideas, write a draft. Now, put that draft somewhere safe and leave it a few days, before coming back to read it with a fresh outlook and make any changes.

If at this point you are still feeling stuck and just can’t get the words to flow onto paper, talk to your Celebrant!  They can assist you with this process, offer guidance and suport and provide suggestions and examples to help ease your stress so you can relax and enjoy the experience!

Writing your own vows can be a daunting experience but it is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way – it is entirely up to the couple.