The Celebrants Network Inc - BLOG

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More Blog posts can be found in the Blog Categories to the right.
Jul
06

Kissing during your wedding ceremony – what do you think?

It’s the stuff of dreams and movie moments.  The traditional kiss during the wedding ceremony is preceded by the celebrant saying to the groom “You may kiss your bride” and the big kiss is recorded by photographers and videographers as the guests cheer and applaud.   In today’s blog we look at this sometimes tricky situation with Celebrant Sonia Collins.

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Jun
17

Adventure wedding ceremonies

Who's up for an adventure?  In today's blog Celebrant Melanie Lawson takes us through a rollercoaster of  adventurous ideas for your ceremony...

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May
29

Not everyone from the LGBTIQ+ community wants a big gay wedding

Remember back to when marriage equality was introduced, one of the stereotyped expectations within the general community was that everyone in the LGBTIQ+ community would rush out and have a big gay wedding.  Celebrant Bronte Price shares with us why this didn't happen...

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Jan
21

Understanding old wedding traditions.

Ever wondered why a bride used to wear a veil or carries flowers to the marriage ceremony?  Celebrant Susie Roberts takes us through some well-known wedding traditions, and the history behind them...

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Nov
19

How to make a small wedding super special… and at no great cost!

The current trend amongst savvy couples is to have a small wedding with lots of oomph! Today, Celebrant Susie Roberts from Grafton, NSW is sharing a few suggestions on how to get that OOMPH!

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Oct
29

The Order of a Marriage Ceremony

Weddings today reflect the wishes of the couple.  They may be held in any venue at any time or on any day.  Your choice might be a beautiful building, a garden, a boat, a forest or beach.  Apart from some legal requirements you can structure the ceremony however you wish. Even though weddings are becoming more modernised, many couples still like to keep the traditional structure of a wedding ceremony, so Celebrant Shell Brown is talking us through the tradition order of ceremony...
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Oct
21

Wedding Myth-busting

As celebrants we hear some common misconceptions about weddings, so today Celebrant Melanie Lawson from Oberon in NSW is going to bust some myths!

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Sep
23

Weddings at the Beach

If you are planning a wedding in Australia you have probably given a beach wedding at least a passing thought.  Celebrant Sonia Collins from Batemans Bay, NSW gives us a few things to consider to make sure your day is amazing....

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Sep
26

It's Time

It's Time!   Spring equinox 23rd September 2017

It's officially spring....
the flowers are blooming...
 new life is emerging....
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Aug
23

Has Covid-19 changed your wedding plans?

Are you one of the many couples finding that you need to change your wedding plans because of the coronavirus?  The reality of travel restrictions as well as those on ceremonies and wedding receptions means making some decisions.  Luckily we have Celebrant and Chairperson of The Celebrants Network - Sonia Collins at the ready to give some suggestions...

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Jul
03

Celebrants do more than just weddings...

 
It's true that a lot of civil celebrants only conduct marriage ceremonies or funerals but there are also many Celebrants who identify as Family Celebrants who offer their services for a multitude of celebrations that will continue on throughout your lifetime....
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Jun
26

Alternatives to flowers

Flowers are beautiful but….

Flowers play a part in so many of our rituals and ceremonies.  From adorning a wedding aisle, laid as a wreath to remember those who died in war, or given as a gift to a bereaved family, flowers can enhance a ceremony and evoke memories and emotions.  However, there are many alternatives to the traditional use of flowers.  Celebrant and regular blogger, Mel Lawson shares some fabulous ideas......

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Jun
17

Is it ok to be late to your own wedding?

The short answer is NO and Celebrant Susie Roberts is going to tell us why.....

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Feb
05

Contingency Plans - How to handle unforeseen events during a ceremony

So, there you are smack bang in the middle of a ceremony and something goes wrong….what do you do.  I'm sure that there are many, many more, but let’s look at just a few things that could go wrong.

Today's Blog is written by Celebrant Susie Roberts from Grafton

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Nov
07

"What Could Possibly Go Wrong" - Be Prepared!

Celebrants are involved in a wide range of ceremonies, often held outside involving children, dogs, emotional family members and people taking part in rituals for the first time in their lives. What could go wrong? The answer is anything and everything!

Today we have our regular guest blogger Melanie Lawson from Oberon, NSW raising awareness of potential calamities in your ceremonies and tips on how to be prepared.

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Dec
05

Pets at Weddings

When a couple’s pets are their fur-babies it is natural to want to include them in any family celebration. The Celebrants Network member, Sonia Collins takes us through the pros and cons of including your pet in your ceremony.

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Jun
03

The Great Outdoors - Planning a successful outdoor ceremony

An outdoor ceremony can take a lot of planning and today, TCN Celebrant and Guest Blogger, Melanie Lawson from Richmond, NSW is taking us through all the ins and outs...
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Nov
29

How to involve blended families into your ceremony

 
Ceremonies have been used for thousands of years to help us manage change and build stronger bonds with our families and friends. In the modern blended family a ceremony can reinforce how much each member is valued, and the importance of their role in the family.
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Sep
18

I just got engaged - now what do I do?

I just got engaged.... what do I do now? This is a common question asked by many a couple getting married for the first time, and in fact, it is still asked by people on their second and third time around.  Getting married is not an everyday occurrence, so it's not a natural thing where people simply 'know' what to do.
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Apr
02

The Montville Chapel

Today's Guest Blogger is TCN Celebrant Karen Faa.... this is the story of Brent and Alyce, married a few days ago at The Chapel Montville.   It was absolutely spellbinding.  Karen has written what she thought Brent may have been experiencing as he showed the vulnerability and beauty of pure love.  There was not a dry eye in the place! 

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May
22

How much does a marriage celebrant cost??

Civil Celebrants charge their own fee depending on the services they provide.  There is a myth that goes around from time to time that Civil Marriage Celebrants charge from $500 for 20 minutes work.  Let’s explore this myth a bit further and see where it takes us...
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Feb
07

Interfaith and cross cultural marriages: how a civil ceremony embraces everyone

One of the great things about Australia is our ability to embrace and adopt the spirit of other cultures.  This is demonstrated every day by walking around a major city in Australia and seeing how much cultural cuisine is on offer!  From Asia to Africa, Europe and the Pacific, Aussies love to eat.  We are currently enjoying the Lunar new year festivities, celebrations which have grown from the traditions of a cultural minority to include a wide range of groups and shared and enjoyed by all.  Here is how we can include all kinds of culture and tradition in a civil marriage ceremony...
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Jan
10

I'm Getting Married!... Now What?

You've just proposed marriage or been propsed to, you're wearing an incredible ring and you've announced your engagment to your loved ones..... now what?  Well, here begins a very exciting time of planning for you you both!
For some of you this proposal might have come as complete surprise and for others it might be the final stage to what could have been months of discussion and planning.  Now that you’ve made the biggest decision - to get married, there are just a few more smaller decisions that need to be discussed and decided upon before your wedding day can be realised.
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Nov
20

Ways to save money on your wedding

We've all got a dream of what our ceremony is going to look like.  We've all searched through Pinterest and Etsy and magazines saving the pictures that will best fit our theme.  But, the more ideas you come up with - the more the budget is blown out!  What if I told you that there was a way to have your cake and eat it too?  Check out these thrifty ways that you can have the ceremony of your dreams and still be able to afford the Uber ride home...

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Oct
16

Why use a translator or an interpreter in Australia?

Are you getting married in Australia?  Do you or your partner have limited English language skills?  Are you or your partner hearing impaired?  What about the two people you've chosen to be your official witnesses?  Perhaps you have guests coming to your ceremony who don't understand English or are hearing impaired?  There are a number of reasons why you might need to engage an interpreter or a translator when you are getting married....

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Sep
28

Outdoor Wedding ideas

When you're planning a lovely outdoor ceremony, you would generally think of how beautiful the scenery is, how the area matches your theme or perhaps there is a sentimental reason you've picked this spot, but rarely do you think about whether or not your guests will be eaten alive by mosquitos.  

Here are 7 fabulous outdoor ceremony ideas to make sure that your ceremony it's too hot, too cold or overrun by mozzies.....

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Sep
28

The Importance of timing at a ceremony

Timing is vital on a day as important as your wedding day.  It's a juggling act with numerous balls in the air, so having a well timed out schedule and sticking to it will help the day run smoothly. If you've planned correctly and timed it all out in advance then you be free of stress knowing that you've done everything you can and the rest is in the hands of 'whatever happens now is what happens'.

Here is why timing is vital to your wedding day...

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Sep
10

Where to find ceremony inspiration

You're planning your wedding... a naming ceremony... an anniversary ceremony, but where do you start? Where do you find your ceremony inspiration? Here are a few good places to start...

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Jul
04

The Kiss - What's appropriate?

Keep on kissing

We kiss people every day, and we generally know what's appropriate for each situation... but you know, the first kiss after the celebrant declares you married? The one with everyone watching as you lip lock in public with the cameras and videos working overtime. Yes, that kiss. That's not an everyday kiss that you will automatically know what to do. Today we're looking at what type of kiss is appropriate...

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Aug
13

Old Wedding Ceremony Traditions – How they have transitioned into the 21st century

Traditions at a wedding are very important to couples and their families because if you don't follow the traditions.... did you really just get married? The answer is yes, but to some people it can feel like you didn't do it properly if you don't include them.  Here we look at some of the more popular wedding traditions and how they've morphed into a 21st century friendly version.  As these are very old traditions - please forgive the lack of equality in them.  Hopefully the way in which these traditions have transitioned will help to encompass all couples who wish to marry...

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Nov
22

Sticking to a budget

Sticking to a budget

Planning a wedding, or any festive celebration can be a pricey affair, but there are ways around it so that you don't have to remortgage your house or sell an organ on Ebay.  The best way is to set a budget and to stick to it.

There have been surveys done that show people are spending an average of $30,000 on a wedding day.  Obviously there are people who spend way more than that and if that's what they want to do and they can afford it, then good on them - go crazy.  However, if you'd prefer to spend your well earned money on something else... a house, a car, a holiday, your kids, whatever.... then a budget is the way to go.

ABC Article - How much do weddings really cost

In the past we have written blog posts with ideas on how to have a gorgeous backyard wedding on a budget, so searching for ideas on ways to save is a great start.  

Here's a TCN member's blog post about budget wedding ideas



Next, make a list up of all the things you'd like or that you think you have to have at a wedding, then put them into two lists:  

1. the things you definitely can't live without and 2. the things you can.

Things like:

the designer dress.....the huge bridal party.....the trillions of guests.....the venue/location.....the open bar.....the vintage cars - [which I think are really cool... but It's not me who is paying].....the hens/bucks nights/bridal shower/kitchen tea/etc....the flowers .....the DJ/Live band.....the cake.
 
Then while you're looking at that list and trying to convince your partner that you really can't live without those designer shoes try and remember what the day is actually about.  It's about the two of you pledging your love to each other and getting married.....
and you won't be any less married if you aren't wearing those Manolo Blahniks.

 
Tips to sticking with a budget:



1.
do your homework

2.
write everything down

3.
be in agreement with each other about it and discuss any changes

4.
Ask a third party to be your voice of reason

5.
Keep a picture of your ultimate goal for after the wedding ie: holiday destination, house or car up on the fridge or near your computer to keep you motivated not to spend all your savings on this one day.


 
 
When it comes to your cermeony - marriage, commitment, vow renewal, naming or any other life event you're celebrating, speak to a TCN Celebrant

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?? We would love it if you would let us know what you think ?.  
There is a comment section ? at the bottom ⬇ of the blog for you to do just that.  
?Click on the word "Comment" and go for it!
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Aug
27

Including your pets in your ceremony

When you have a pet, a fur baby, or a four legged best buddy, they become a very important part of your life, so why wouldn't you include them into your life celebrations?  
 
Well, there are a few reasons that you might want to be aware of...

* What happens if your pooch runs off with the rings?

* What happens if your usually well trained llama spits at the guests?

* What happens if nature calls as your horse trots up the aisle?

People with pets understand that things don't always run as smoothly as you sometimes hope they will, then again you could say the same of human children! So here are a few things to consider when including your furry bud in your ceremony.

1.  Think about your pet's temperament.  How does he react around crowds, children, and loud noises? 



2. Talk about your plans with your bridal party and find out if anybody is frightened of (insert type of animal you have)



3. Make sure you get permission from venues and give professionals such as you celebrant, photographer, florist, musician and caterer advance notice. That way everybody can be better prepared. 



4. Ensure that you have appointed a trustworthy person to do the job of pet-sitting.  You can ask a friend who your pet is familiar and comfortable with or hire a professional dog handler to make sure your dog is safe and hydrated throughout the day.



5. If you are somebody who likes to dress your pets up in special outfits, choose the outfit carefully and make sure that your furry friend is not going to be  too hot or uncomfortable wearing it.  



6. As with all ceremonies - you should have a Plan B in case of poor weather, so consider having a Plan B for your pet as well.  If your pooch was meant to carry the rings down the aisle and she doesn't feel like it at the appropriate time, then go with the flow and slip the back up plan into action.

 
Click HERE to speak to a TCN Celebrant about including your pet in your ceremony
 
All the photos in today's blog have been used with the permission of Stephanie Warner of Hitch and Pooch 
You can follow her Instagram feed here: https://www.instagram.com/hitchandpooch/
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Jul
11

Show me the Stats

Show me the Stats

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics dated November 2016, there were 113,595 marriages registered Australia wide in 2015.

The number of marriages decreased in 2015 by 7,602 - down 6.3%

81.1% of brides and 79.1% of grooms were marrying for the first time.

16.3% of the marriages included one partner who had been married before.

Marriages where both partners had been married before were at 11.7%

The median age for men getting married was 31.8 years and for women it was 29.8 years - both ages increased from previous years.


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Couples who lived together prior to marriage accounted for 81%

54.2% of couples married in 2015 were both born in Australia.

 Out of the couples married in 2015 31.9% were born in different countries.

13.9% were born in the same overseas country.

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Civil Celebrants have overseen the majority of marriage ceremonies (since 1999) at an average across the country of 74.9%

If you would like to engage a civil celebrant for your marriage ceremony, commitment ceremony, vow renewal, baby naming ceremony or any other event that you'd like to celebrate - including memorials and life celebrations - then please contact one our fabulous TCN Celebrants

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Thank you for 
joining us....
?? We would love it if you would let us know what you think ?.  
There is a comment section ? at the bottom ⬇ of the blog for you to do just that.  
?Click on the word "Comment" and go for it!
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Jul
04

Popular Wedding Traditions - Explained

There are loads of wedding traditions that people still live by and think that it's not a real wedding if we don't.....

wear a white dress;
have bridesmaids;
have my dad walk me down the aisle;
carry flowers:
something old, something new, something borrowed & something blue...

Because of tradition we base what constitutes a 'real' wedding on whether we follow what everybody else has done before us. 

Whilst traditions in general are important for continuity; making the moment special; and giving you something to look forward to, not all traditions are as relevant as they once were.

For example:

Wearing a white dress

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Photo: Pixabay

Modern brides might describe their wedding dress as "cream" or "ivory," but in most cases, it's some variation on white. While there has been an emerging trend on colourful dresses, traditional brides have stayed true to the color white ever since Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in 1840. Before that most brides wore whatever was nicest piece of clothing in their cupboard, while nobility wore luxurious gowns embroidered with metallic thread. Victoria ditched the nobility's traditional silver gown for a white satin one, and unintentionally kick-started the tradition of the white wedding dress.

Note: It is not a legal requirement for you to wear white and it won't mean that you are any less married after your ceremony if you choose to wear something different.

Bridal Parties 

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Photo: Pixabay

While bridesmaids are invaluable for moral support and helping you get in and out of your dress, originally they used to have a far more serious role in the wedding: protecting the bride from evil spirits. Bridesmaids were originally directed to dress just like the bride, and this was intended to confuse evil spirits or those who wished to harm the bride.

Note: It is not a legal requirement for you to have bridesmaids or groomsmen as such - you only need your celebrant and 2 witnesses, and you won't be any less married if you don't have a buck's or a hen's night.

Father Giving Away the Bride

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Photo: Pixabay

Back in the day daughters were considered their father's property, meaning the father had the right to give his daughter to the groom, usually for a price which had to be paid to the bride's family before he could marry her.  This was called the dowry.  Times have changed a bit now and having dear old dad walk you down the aisle has become a sign of love and symbolic of the marrying couple having the support from all the parents as they move on with the next stage in their life. Some people have added mum into the mix with the bride walking in with either or both her parents and sometimes the groom also walks in with his parents first.  

Note: As this isn't a legal requirement, you can walk into your own ceremony any way you like with whom ever you want to support you.  How you walk in is generally irrelevant to the you actually getting married.

The Bride Arriving Late For The Ceremony 

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This is not a tradition

and no reference to it as being "a thing" can be found, so from this moment forward, in my opinion only, as a show of respect for the groom, the families, all the guests, the celebrant, the musician, the photographer, the videographer, the venue, the co-ordinator, the car hire people and anybody else that it effects that all brides should arrive on time.

Note: Being super late for your ceremony could effect you becoming legally married on that day.

Please contact a TCN Celebrant today to find out more about the traditions that you'd like to include in your marriage ceremony.
 
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?? We would love it if you would let us know what you think ?.  
There is a comment section ? at the bottom ⬇ of the blog for you to do just that.  
?Click on the word "Comment" and go for it!
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Jun
29

Should we get Married in Summer or Winter?

Should we get Married in Summer or Winter? 

Summer Weddings versus Winter weddings

When and where to hold your wedding are probably two of the biggest choices you will make and they go hand in hand.

Do you want a balmy summer day so that you can get married outdoors?

or

Do you prefer a cosy intimate celebration centred around a roaring fire?
 
In Australia the majority of weddings take place in Spring and Summer with only 5% of marriages taking place in June and July.
 
Screen Shot 2017-06-29 at 12.08.43 am.png

However both have their positives and negatives so let's look at some of the factors that may influence your decision:

Weather:
How do you picture your dream wedding... exchanging vows with a beautiful sunset in the background or a roaring fire? Points to consider about the weather:

*  In summer you need to plan for excessive weather changes such as rain or extreme heat.
* In winter you know it is going to be cold so you and your guests can dress accordingly. 

* In summer you may have daylight saving so longer hours to enjoy the sunshine.
* In winter the shorter days may dictate the time of your wedding. 

The Wedding Dress:
How have you pictured your wedding dress… sleeveless, backless, light and summery, long sleeved?  Although the time of year may not influence your choice of wedding dress you will need to consider some extras for a winter wedding such a shawl or jacket and it is not always easy getting it to match your dream wedding dress. And don’t forget your bridesmaids who will feel the cold a lot more than you as they don’t have the same amount of adrenalin to keep them warm, so will need extra clothes. The amount of clothing is much less for a summer wedding. 

Screen Shot 2017-06-29 at 12.10.31 am.png

How Quickly do you want to get Married?:
How quickly you want to get married after your engagement may determine the season in which you marry. 

* It is far easier to book many of the wedding vendors at short notice in winter. Popular venues and photographers are booked well in advance for a summer wedding. There is greater availability and choice in winter.
* It is often cheaper to book popular vendors in winter because prices become negotiable as they are less busy. In summer you may need to pay a premium for the more popular vendors. 

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Flowers:
Do you want your favourite flowers for your bouquet? Flowers are seasonal so the prices will vary a lot depending whether they are in season or need to be imported. If you are happy to use only seasonal flowers you have a greater choice in summer than in winter.  

Screen Shot 2017-06-29 at 12.11.10 am.png

Practicalities:
Practicalities include all the extra little things that need to be considered for a wedding.
* In summer that would include providing shade for your guests for the ceremony, lots of cool drinks, umbrellas on hand for sun or rain and an indoor alternative venue for rain or sun. 

* In winter that would include hats, gloves, shawls, warm drinks and an outdoor alternative if its a nice sunny winter day. 

Whether you choose summer or winter there will always be a TCN Celebrant free to perform your ceremony so contact your local TCN Celebrant now. 

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Thank you for 
joining us....
?? We would love it if you would let us know what you think ?.  
There is a comment section ? at the bottom ⬇ of the blog for you to do just that.  
?Click on the word "Comment" and go for it!
? Don't forget to subscribe ? to this blog - the "subscribe" button is up the top of the page ⇞⇞⇞ and the blog will magically ?? appear in your email inbox ?.
Also please feel free to share ? our blog on your social media ? so we can spread the love ?! 
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Mar
15

A wedding Vs a marriage

 
Some people think that a marriage and a wedding go hand in hand.... well, they do - but really, they don't.  
Yes, you have a wedding because you are getting married, but you don't (or you shouldn't) get married because you want a wedding.
 
It's vital not to lose sight of what is important.

A wedding can take an extraordinary amount of planning and can test your ability to deal with stress, your organisational skills and possibly your patience, but that's about all.  At the end of the day, yes you'll be married (assuming you've remembered to book a civil celebrant), but throwing a successful wedding party doesn't mean that you have a successful marriage - not yet anyway.

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A marriage takes work and it takes time. Years of nurturing your relationship where you treat each other with equality, respect and kindness.  Marriage is supporting each other through the great and the not so great times.  Marriage may force you to assess and re-evaluate some of your choices. It may also be a constant reminder that there is another person that you need to consider.  It's being able to communicate with your partner effectively and working out ways to live together harmoniously.  It's creating strategies to deal with conflict and disagreements.

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So why do we put such a massive emphasis on the wedding day?

We follow traditions about what we should wear and what our friends should wear.  We make sure that everything is colour coordinated, we adhere to the prescribed formulae so the day is perfect and a lot of us are throwing big $$$$ dollars at this one day.

Does the most expensive wedding = the best marriage?
Does getting the colour scheme wrong = a marriage failure?
Does bucking traditions = not a real marriage?
No.

ridiculous wedding dresses.jpg

A marriage is a lifelong partnership and a wedding is the one day you choose to celebrate the beginning of that marriage.
Which ever way you choose to celebrate your marriage is totally ok - there's no judgement here, however be mindful of what is actually more important to you - the marriage or the wedding.

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To find a TCN Celebrant to help you create an amazing celebration for what is sure to be a wonderful marriage -  Click here.

* __________________________________ *
Thank you for joining us....
?? We would love it if you would let us know what you think ?.  
There is a comment section ? at the bottom ⬇ of the blog for you to do just that.  
?Click on the word "Comment" and go for it!
? Don't forget to subscribe ? to this blog - the "subscribe" button is up the top of the page ⇞⇞⇞ and the blog will magically ?? appear in your email inbox ?.
Also please feel free to share ? our blog on your social media ? so we can spread the love ?! 
Please use this ? link: https://www.celebrations.org.au/blog when you share. ? 
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Jan
18

Don't Be Late!

Don’t be late!

 

Is it fashionable for the bride to be late to the ceremony anymore? 
 
 
Was it ever fashionable?  

 

There are valid excuses for being late:

 

Car trouble, traffic, wardrobe/hair/makeup malfunctions, nerves, forgot something vital to the ceremony… but intentionally planning to keep your guests waiting because you think it’s a tradition or so you can make a grand entrance is not necessary. 
 
Being late is as much a tradition as it is lucky when it rains on your wedding day - it's just something people say... and your entrance will be grand regardless of what time you arrive.

 

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Image source: stuff.co.nz

The same excuses can be allowed for guests, however intentionally arriving any later than 15+ minutes before the ceremony is due to start is not ok.  

 

Perhaps people assume that the bride will be ‘fashionably late’ and therefore what’s the point of arriving early? 
 
But what if this bride is considering the comfort of her guests and valuing her celebrant/photographer/videographer/musician/other ceremony service provider’s time and arrives on time for the ceremony - then you run the risk of missing the beginning of the ceremony or causing a ruckus coming in half way through.

 

Let’s ditch this idea that the bride (or groom) should be late to the ceremony.

 

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Image source: Pixabay

Let me tell you an extreme, and yet very true story of what can happen if you choose to be late on a hot day.  

 

Imagine, if you will, a very hot day - sweltering in fact... I'm talking up and over 40℃

 

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Your guests have arrived 15 minutes early as instructed.  They are dressed in their finery, ladies in heels and make up, gents in long pants and suit jackets.  You have opted for the magnificent location of that park near that lake where there’s not a lot of shade.  Your guests have not thought to bring hats or umbrellas, possibly not being familiar with the park’s shade offerings.  So they stand uncomfortably in the sun, holding their clutch purses over their faces, slowly melting, silently hoping that the bride will be on time.

 

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Photo credit: Shell Brown

The groom and his best man are dressed in their 3 piece suits, looking marvellous except for their glistening red faces and parched lips.
The bride is sitting somewhere in air conditioning having the finishing touches done to her hair and make up.  The girls are having a last champas before getting into the air conditioned car to get to the ceremony….. it doesn’t matter if we’re a bit late, they decide - it’s fashionable, right?

 

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Image source: Pixabay

Cut back to the park where the guests have now been standing in the blazing sun for 30 minutes, with no bridesmaid filled vintage limo in sight.  The guests haven’t brought any water, as they didn’t think they’d be standing there for this long.  One of the nanas has thought to bring a fan with her and she is starting to look way too flushed. Her breathing slows down as she slumps slightly in her chair.

 

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Image source: totally-awesome.net

The girls are finally in the limo and are super excited to be on their way.  The guests have been waiting for 45 minutes now and people are losing their patience and good humour.  The limo pulls up to the park, it’s another 10 minutes while the bride has some photos in the car, then gets out of the car and has more photos in front of the car, then with the bridesmaids, then one with her dad, then a few of the bride with the bridesmaids fussing around her dress…. 

 

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Image source: Pixabay

The guests can see she has arrived and are wondering, as they wipe the sweat from their eyes, waterproof mascara running, why she hasn’t started walking towards them yet.  People can get cross and fed up in the heat.

 

The bride finally arrives and can’t understand why her guests all look furious and a little damp.

 

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Sure - this might be far fetched, but people can get cranky in the heat! Image source: iloverealestate.tv

Nana manages to make it though the ceremony - only just and is then taken to hospital with heat stroke.  Another two guests opt to go home because standing out in the heat has made them feel sick.

 

So… to be late or not to be late?

 

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Image source: memes.com

If you would like some advice on how best to plan your ceremony so that everybody makes it through to the reception, why not #askacelebrant? 
 
You can contact a TCN Celebrant by clicking this link.

 

And if you do have a guest suffer from heat stroke - here are some handy hints 

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Nov
23

Do We Need a Bridal Party?

The History of the Bridal Party

During the "marriage by capture" era, close friends of the groom helped him to kidnap the bride from her family. The first groomsmen were more like a small army, fighting off the bride's angry relatives as the groom rode away with her on his horse.

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Bridesmaids and maids of honour became more common when weddings were planned. For several days before the marriage, a senior maid attended to the bride. This maid or matron of honour, as we know her today, ensured that the bridal wreath was made and helped the bride get dressed. 

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For a long time, bridesmaids wore dresses much like the bride's gown, while the groomsmen dressed in clothing that was similar to the groom's attire. This tradition began for protection against evil rather than for uniformity; if evil spirits or jealous suitors attempted to harm the newlyweds, they would be confused as to which two people were the real bride and groom.

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Over time this tradition has morphed into inviting a small number of your nearest and dearest to help you plan your special day and to carry out that plan on the day.  Special responsibilities are given to the bridal party, for example: bridesmaids will go with the bride to chose outfits and have a number of beauty treatments whilst the groomsmen pick their outfits and sometimes engage in a group activity like go carting or golf.

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Then on the day, they are given responsibilities such as: the Best Man holds the rings, the Maid of Honour holds the bouquet; the groomsmen hand out ceremony programs and the bridesmaids are in charge of making sure that the train on the bride’s dress is sufficiently fanned and that the flower girls are looked after. 

And they are all responsible for arranging buck’s and hen’s events.

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So, do I actually need to have a bridal party?

The short answer is no - there is no legal reason to have a bridal party.  However some people do like to have their closest buddies around them on their special day, sharing in the moment and helping them prepare, but it is not a prerequisite for getting married.  A civil marriage ceremony only requires you and your partner, your celebrant and your two witnesses - everybody else is there to watch and help you celebrate.

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Some 'pros' to having a bridal party

You get to share the shopping with your besties, you have access to honest advice throughout, hen’s/buck’s parties are more fun with more than one person there! If you are feeling a bit stressed on the day, your best man is there to talk you through it and your bridesmaids are at the ready with the touch up lippy.  Group photos are great fun and you have your best friends sharing your most special day with you from woe to go.

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Some 'cons' that come with having a bridal party

Sometimes having a bridal party can be a bit of a drama.  Before there was just you and your fiancé to think about, now you have a MOH a BM, 4 BMs and 5 GMs - Then you are plagued with questions: Is it going to look awkward if the numbers are uneven?  Do you invite somebody just to fill the numbers?  Will asking my 2 year old niece to be a flower girl balance the numbers out even though she won’t know why she’s there or even remember the day?  What colours will they wear?  Will they all were the same?  My girlfriends are all different shapes and sizes, will the same dress suit them all?  That’s a lot of money to pay for a dress that they’ll only wear once.  I’ve got 4 best friends but I only want 3 bridesmaids - how will I choose and how will my left out friend feel? 

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How you choose to celebrate your marriage is totally up to you.


Here are 8 'non rules' that might be helpful when deciding if you want to include a bridal party or not.

1. You don’t have to have a bridal party if you don’t want to.

2. You don’t have to stick to female bridesmaids and male groomsmen - this is going to sound crazy, but you can choose who ever you want.

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3. You are under no obligation to ask anybody to be your bridesmaid/groomsman - (even if you promised them when you were 9 years old)

4. Remember you are getting married to the person that you love - not putting on a show for paying customers.

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5. The ceremony is about you and your loved one pledging your life to each other and declaring undying love. You don’t need help with that part - except from your celebrant.

6. You can give friends and family special roles/jobs i.e: a reading, day of co ordinator, holding the rings, being in charge of not running out of champagne, looking after the gift table - sort of like a bridal party, but they can wear what they want and they sit with the other guests while you have centre stage.

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7. Giving those people that helped a special mention in your speech is all that is needed.

8.  You can have as many bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, page boys, matrons of honour and best men that you want to - it's your day!

 

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If you would like to speak to an experienced TCN Celebrant about how you can create your own marriage ceremony - CLICK HERE

 

What are your thoughts on having a bridal party - leave your comments in the comment section below.

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? Click on the word "Comment" and go for it!

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Jul
14

The importance of family and community involvement in ceremonies

Humans have used ceremonies and celebrations for thousands of years to: 
  • affirm or encourage people at special events  e.g. Olympic Games, Presentation nights, graduations
  • celebrate milestones in our individual life journey e.g. birthdays, anniversaries, retirement 
  • acknowledge significant life-changing occasions e.g. namings/ christenings, engagements, marriages, funerals
  • honour individuals or celebrate community values, e.g. memorials, Australia Day, Citizenship Day, Harmony Day

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The pros and cons of a private ceremony

TCN celebrants have noticed a recent trend towards couples choosing to elope and having a small ceremony with just the celebrant and witnesses.  

On the plus side, these ceremonies can be romantic, fun, stress free and far less expensive than the traditional family occasion.  They are ideally suited to some couples.

The down side may be that family are genuinely hurt by being excluded from this important occasion. 

This can be difficult to understand, especially for couples who are already living together and who decide they just want to "make it legal" with minimum fuss.  

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Sharing is Caring

However, if the couple think more deeply about the significance of the marriage ceremony they may see the value in a larger ceremony that involves family and friends.

The marriage ceremony results in changes of legal status and relationships.  The marriage partners become legally responsible for each other and any children of their relationship.  They also acquire new relationships with their in-laws - a new extended family and friendship group.  For the parents of "first time marrieds"  the marriage ceremony symbolically marks a "graduation" at which their work in raising a baby to adulthood formally ends. 

So in many ways a marriage is not just a relationship between two individuals. It is a formal and social relationship between two networks of family and friends.  Being part of the ceremony means a lot to those who love the couple.

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"But big family weddings are too expensive - eloping cuts the cost!"

This can certainly be true.  So how can we have a big celebration for a small cost? 

This TCN article about having a big celebration on a low budget could assist your planning.

Share your ideas on how to involve family and friends in celebrations that are meaningful for everyone present … 

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Sep
20

When your wedding plans are becoming overwhelming - remember the reason you’re getting married.

Your wedding is getting close and your nerves are becoming more frazzled. Feeling overwhelmed is becoming your new normal, and you and your fiance seem to spend all of your time consumed with wedding plans.

Sounds familiar? According to a survey by fearcourse.com

  • 71% of brides-to-be suffered from some type of nerves during the build-up to their wedding
  • 92% of brides experienced nerves on the day of the wedding or the evening before
  • 66% reported that it affected their daily lives prior to it, or hampered their performance and enjoyment during the day itself.


These feeling of overwhelm could be caused by a number of issues in the busy lead up to your wedding.

  • Budget
  • Guest lists
  • Seating plans
  • Suppliers who don't deliver
  • Disagreements over some of the wedding details
  • Family pressure
  • Wanting the day to be perfect.

Whatever your reasons are, perhaps it is time to take a wedding planning break, just you and your partner spending time together, just hanging out and remembering your reasons why you wanted to get married.

Taking a mini break dedicated to you as a couple is a great way to let you see the big picture, strengthen your bond, and to set a good pattern for your marriage, especially after you have kids.

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Minibreaks could be an afternoon off, a weekend off, or even a whole week with wedding planning put on the back burner, while you spend time looking after your relationship. Some great mini breaks are :

  • A couples massage session
  • An afternoon movie session
  • A romantic dinner date
  • A weekend away at your favourite B and B
  • Bingeing out on a whole TV series.
  • A walk on the beach.
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Time out is a great habit for couples to adopt, and when better to start the habit, than during the planning of your important day.
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