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Supportive Relationships

How many times have you have you heard the words “If only my spouse was more supportive?" or, “I try my hardest to be supportive, but my spouse doesn’t seem to notice my efforts?” Sometimes both of these statements are true, as we often don’t connect with what the other person is doing..... read on - we have some ideas you might like to try.

There is a wonderful book called “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman in which Chapman outlines his suggested Five Love Languages, and how they best need to be supported, as well as how they support others.  

These are :

Receiving gifts
Quality time
Words of affirmation
Acts of Service (devotion)
Physical touch
In my home, my husband is motivated by Acts of Service, so his way of supporting me is to cook dinner, or go shopping, or do some household chores, whereas I am motivated by quality time……..I love spending time over a beautiful meal just chatting, or heading to the beach for a day out with a picnic lunch. And getting these two differing needs and styles of support to gel is often a tricky balancing act.

The book goes into detail on how to support your partner, and there is a quiz so you can determine what your love language is.

Love Scrabble letters blog
What are some other tips on how to be a supportive partner?

Listen to what your partner is asking for. Really listen and if you aren’t clear on their needs, ask more questions.

reaching out

Once you have listened, then pay attention to your spouses clues…………..and believe me, they will have been dropping plenty!

Put your partner first………when you are making a decision, put your partner’s needs  foremost in your mind, and involve them.

Say sorry………when necessary. Stubborn partners who will never apologise are boorish. Saying “yes, you are right” goes a long way in a relationship.


Help……….around the house, in the garden, with the kids, with the shopping………help is always very welcome.

Be there for them………you are a team, so declare it, and act on it.

Spend time together regularly…………without the kids, without friends and relatives……..some quality couple time.

Ask………those magic words “What is it you need from me right now”.

And finally…………find some time each day to say something nice to each other, and to laugh together.

loving couple

There are many ways you can be supportive, and if you aren’t feeling supported, then ask loudly and concisely for the support you need as a first step, then perhaps start reading some of the resources that are available online and through your local library.
You and your partner could celebrate your love and support for each other with a ceremony - perhaps on an anniversary or birthday please check out our directory of TCN Celebrants to find one near you.


Comments 1

Rona Goold on Thursday, 12 April 2018 18:34
Celebrate firsts

We love to verbalise, appreciate and enjoy doing things for the first time, or trying something new together, or going to a new place.

We love to verbalise, appreciate and enjoy doing things for the first time, or trying something new together, or going to a new place.
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