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What would you like to ask about funerals and memorials?
For Dying to Know Day - today Monday 8th August 2016 - TCN would like to encourage everyone to talk about death and particularly funerals and memorials. What questions would you like answered by TCN and our celebrant members?
To start the conversation, here are some questions our TCN celebrant members have been asked:
Must we organise a funeral within a few days of a person's death?
Are there any laws we need to know, if we want to organise our own 'send-off'?
Can we have both a funeral and a memorial?
Am I able to pre-plan my funeral ceremony?
How can our family give a loved one a fitting tribute, but not cost us 'an arm and a leg"?
Can we have a religious funeral ceremony and a civil memorial some time later?
Can we include religious material in a civil funeral?
Our parent does not want any fuss, and tells us not to have a funeral. However we feel uncomfortable about that. What can we do?
If we are not church goers, and do not want to use a funeral chapel, what other venues could we use?
Do we have to have a "Celebration of Life", if our family member was a rather difficult character who caused more pain than joy?
If we were considering a "Do It Yourself" funeral or memorial, what tips do you have for us?
How can we get mum or dad to discuss what they want us to do, when they die?
How can we get our adult children to talk with us - anytime we try they seem to brush the topic to one side?
The Celebrants Network (TCN) invites you to ask these questions and more!
You may ask a question via our Blog Comments Section at the bottom of this blog - anytime today or tonight.
In fact, if you are too busy today, then ask when you can.
It's very easy to do.
However, if you have any hassles, please feel free to contact us.
What have you done to farewell a family member or friend?
You are also invited to share your experiences here with us.
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Recently I found out that having the body taken straight to the crematorium is much less expensive - can halve or third the costs. That saving can go to having a celebrant organise and conduct a Memorial ceremony, when and where is convenient for family/ friends if they wish to do something. It's their gig not mine. I wont be there to know I assume.
I've paid for a hole in the wall for my ashes to go beside my parents - although having done theirs, I know all of mine will not fit :-)
The rest can go where my husband wants, if I go first. If second, then in our local village ceremony with my husband's, which is where hubby wants his left-overs to go - we must GPS this soon so we are clear about that togetherness!
We thought we'd share our own plans. Trish and I are Funeral Celebrants and prepare and conduct around 100 Funeral and / or Memorial Services each year so we are more mindful than some about the need for planning.
Obviously, when a loved one passes on, it is a very stressful time for the family - and having to plan the Funeral at that time only adds to the stress.
We both have already chosen our Funeral Director and Celebrant ( providing he outlasts us ), purchased our plot for the ashes to be placed in ( together - along with our recently cremated dog " Kenny " ), designed and paid for our plaque to go at our final resting place, paid for the Funerals ( in total ), prepared our Photograph Montage to be played during Reflection, chosen and burnt our own music, chosen our own Readings, designed our own Funeral Script, written our own Eulogies ( to be added to as we progress through life ) and put money aside for a damned good Wake.
All our families have to do is collect the folder with all this information in it and pass it to whoever needs it.
That way - the stress is reduced for them, there is no financial burden, they can embrace the day and celebrate our lives.
We have suggested this process to a number of our friends and they have taken up the idea.
Peter Grant Brisbane Civil Marriage & Funeral Celebrant
Death and dying has been a taboo subject for too long. We owe it to our families and ourselves to speak about it openly and make our wishes known.
Anna Wong Melbourne Civil Marriage Celebrant
No. In fact there are no laws to say one has to have a ceremony at all. However a ceremony is important for the grieving family and friends. The tradition of quick funerals was because of the lack of refrigeration. Ask the funeral company about the cost of having more time, which can be offset by having a less expensive coffin
Peter Grant Brisbane Civil Marriage & Funeral Celebrant
TCN has an article here that touches on this topic. Called a fresh look at funerals and memorials.
We also touch on DIY funerals in this little powerpoint:
It might seem weird nominating a day to talk about death but it is a good way to get the conversation going. How many people are going to tell their family and friends that it is D2KDay today?