Some people think that a marriage and a wedding go hand in hand.... well, they do - but really, they don't.
Yes, you have a wedding because you are getting married, but you don't (or you shouldn't) get married because you want a wedding.
It's vital not to lose sight of what is important.
A wedding can take an extraordinary amount of planning and can test your ability to deal with stress, your organisational skills and possibly your patience, but that's about all. At the end of the day, yes you'll be married (assuming you've remembered to book a civil celebrant), but throwing a successful wedding party doesn't mean that you have a successful marriage - not yet anyway.
A marriage takes work and it takes time. Years of nurturing your relationship where you treat each other with equality, respect and kindness. Marriage is supporting each other through the great and the not so great times. Marriage may force you to assess and re-evaluate some of your choices. It may also be a constant reminder that there is another person that you need to consider. It's being able to communicate with your partner effectively and working out ways to live together harmoniously. It's creating strategies to deal with conflict and disagreements.
So why do we put such a massive emphasis on the wedding day?
We follow traditions about what we should wear and what our friends should wear. We make sure that everything is colour coordinated, we adhere to the prescribed formulae so the day is perfect and a lot of us are throwing big $$$$ dollars at this one day.
Does the most expensive wedding = the best marriage?
Does getting the colour scheme wrong = a marriage failure?
Does bucking traditions = not a real marriage?
A marriage is a lifelong partnership and a wedding is the one day you choose to celebrate the beginning of that marriage.
Which ever way you choose to celebrate your marriage is totally ok - there's no judgement here, however be mindful of what is actually more important to you - the marriage or the wedding.
To find a TCN Celebrant to help you create an amazing celebration for what is sure to be a wonderful marriage - Click here.
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