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Sep
05

We Need to Talk About Relationship Counselling

When you meet with your celebrant before your marriage ceremony, they will hand you a brochure called "Happily Ever Before and After" which gives you information about what happens after you're married and also includes information about relationship counselling and marriage education.  Have you considered seeking relationship assistance?  If so, great.... if not, why not?  Today's blog has been written by guest blogger and TCN Celebrant Shell Brown from Mandurah, WA.
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Oct
03

Why would I want to know about relationship education?



Why would I want to know about

relationship education?



Today’s blog starts off with a legal note about the rules that are set out in the Marriage Act (and the Guidelines to the Act) for all Commonwealth Registered Civil Celebrants.



Rules
To quote “As soon as practicable after receiving the NOIM, an authorised celebrant must give the parties a document outlining the obligations and consequences of marriage (subsection 42(5A) of the Marriage Act). This document has been approved by the Attorney‑General in the form of a brochure entitled Happily Ever Before and After, and indicates the availability of marriage education and counselling and other important legal matters concerning marriage.


A notation of the giving of the document should be made by the authorised celebrant in the appropriate space on the reverse side of the NOIM. If the space is left blank it will indicate that the authorised celebrant has not fulfilled their obligations.”

Scales
And, yes there is more with the Code of Practice stating “ Item 6 requires Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrants to maintain up-to-date knowledge about the range of information and services designed to enhance and sustain marrying couples throughout their relationship, not just in the period immediately preceding the marriage ceremony. Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrants must also inform marrying couples about this range of services. Meeting this obligation requires ongoing action by Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrants. The family relationship services available in their area should be reviewed by them annually at least to ensure the information they provide to marrying couples is up-to-date.” 
So, what do all of these legal words mean? 

Relationship blog pamphlet
Your Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrant is legally required to give a copy of “Happily Ever Before and After” to both the bride and groom as soon as practicable after receiving your Notice of Intended Marriage. 

This handy brochure outlines some points that you might need to consider:

  • Health and welfare benefits
  • Changing your name
  • Citizenship
  • Making a Will
  • Taxation after Marriage
As well as some information about strengthening your marriage with:
  • Before Marriage : Marriage Education
  • During Marriage : Family Counselling
  • Marriage Breakdown : Dispute Resolution.

This brochure has also been translated into a variety of different languages if English is not your first language. Your celebrant can obtain a copy for you very quickly as they are also available in PDF format.  The brochure also provides information about the Family Relationships Online Website and Advice Line.

Relationship blog Family Relationship

The other important part of the legal requirements for all Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrants, is that your celebrant must keep up to date with information about the local Family And Marriage Counsellors in your area, and should provide you with a list of these practitioners at the time that they give you your copies of “Happily Ever Before and After”.

Relationship Education and Counselling has gotten a bad rap over the years, with people thinking it is only for couples who are heading for the divorce court.

However, Relationship Education prior to your wedding can highlight all the good parts of your relationship where you are really compatible, and tease out the areas that you might need to work on, and let’s be truthful, every married couple has a handful of these.

Most counseling is done in a relaxed setting, with lots of talking, lots of laughter, lots of agreement, lots of ah-ha moments and lots to take home to discuss.

Relationship blog discuss


Counseling Services in your area can support you before getting married and throughout your marriage if tricky issues become sticking points, and they offer a safe space to discuss the myriad of concerns that every married couple has over the years, especially in this fast paced, high stress society.

Counseling is no guarantee, but it can provide a solid framework of understanding for your marriage to grow.

Click here if you'd like to speak to a TCN Celebrant about getting married or obtaining more information about Relationship services in your area.

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Mar
15

A wedding Vs a marriage

 
Some people think that a marriage and a wedding go hand in hand.... well, they do - but really, they don't.  
Yes, you have a wedding because you are getting married, but you don't (or you shouldn't) get married because you want a wedding.
 
It's vital not to lose sight of what is important.

A wedding can take an extraordinary amount of planning and can test your ability to deal with stress, your organisational skills and possibly your patience, but that's about all.  At the end of the day, yes you'll be married (assuming you've remembered to book a civil celebrant), but throwing a successful wedding party doesn't mean that you have a successful marriage - not yet anyway.

wedding-1255520_1920.jpg

 
A marriage takes work and it takes time. Years of nurturing your relationship where you treat each other with equality, respect and kindness.  Marriage is supporting each other through the great and the not so great times.  Marriage may force you to assess and re-evaluate some of your choices. It may also be a constant reminder that there is another person that you need to consider.  It's being able to communicate with your partner effectively and working out ways to live together harmoniously.  It's creating strategies to deal with conflict and disagreements.

couple-1845620_1920.jpg

So why do we put such a massive emphasis on the wedding day?

We follow traditions about what we should wear and what our friends should wear.  We make sure that everything is colour coordinated, we adhere to the prescribed formulae so the day is perfect and a lot of us are throwing big $$$$ dollars at this one day.

Does the most expensive wedding = the best marriage?
Does getting the colour scheme wrong = a marriage failure?
Does bucking traditions = not a real marriage?
No.

ridiculous wedding dresses.jpg

A marriage is a lifelong partnership and a wedding is the one day you choose to celebrate the beginning of that marriage.
Which ever way you choose to celebrate your marriage is totally ok - there's no judgement here, however be mindful of what is actually more important to you - the marriage or the wedding.

couple-1835383_1920.jpg

To find a TCN Celebrant to help you create an amazing celebration for what is sure to be a wonderful marriage -  Click here.

* __________________________________ *
Thank you for joining us....
?? We would love it if you would let us know what you think ?.  
There is a comment section ? at the bottom ⬇ of the blog for you to do just that.  
?Click on the word "Comment" and go for it!
? Don't forget to subscribe ? to this blog - the "subscribe" button is up the top of the page ⇞⇞⇞ and the blog will magically ?? appear in your email inbox ?.
Also please feel free to share ? our blog on your social media ? so we can spread the love ?! 
Please use this ? link: https://www.celebrations.org.au/blog when you share. ? 
Find us on FacebookInstagram & Twitter
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