• affirm or encourage people at special events  e.g. Olympic Games, Presentation nights, graduations
• celebrate milestones in our individual life journey e.g. birthdays, anniversaries, retirement 
• acknowledge significant life-changing occasions e.g. namings/ christenings, engagements, marriages, funerals
• honour individuals or celebrate community values, e.g. memorials, Australia Day, Citizenship Day, Harmony Day

The pros and cons of a private ceremony

TCN celebrants have noticed a recent trend towards couples choosing to elope and having a small ceremony with just the celebrant and witnesses.  

On the plus side, these ceremonies can be romantic, fun, stress free and far less expensive than the traditional family occasion.  They are ideally suited to some couples.

The down side may be that family are genuinely hurt by being excluded from this important occasion. 

This can be difficult to understand, especially for couples who are already living together and who decide they just want to "make it legal" with minimum fuss.  

Sharing is Caring

However, if the couple think more deeply about the significance of the marriage ceremony they may see the value in a larger ceremony that involves family and friends.

The marriage ceremony results in changes of legal status and relationships.  The marriage partners become legally responsible for each other and any children of their relationship.  They also acquire new relationships with their in-laws - a new extended family and friendship group.  For the parents of "first time marrieds"  the marriage ceremony symbolically marks a "graduation" at which their work in raising a baby to adulthood formally ends. 

So in many ways a marriage is not just a relationship between two individuals. It is a formal and social relationship between two networks of family and friends.  Being part of the ceremony means a lot to those who love the couple.

"But big family weddings are too expensive - eloping cuts the cost!"

This can certainly be true.  So how can we have a big celebration for a small cost? 

This TCN article about having a big celebration on a low budget could assist your planning.

Share your ideas on how to involve family and friends in celebrations that are meaningful for everyone present … 

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Your wedding is getting close and your nerves are becoming more frazzled. Feeling overwhelmed is becoming your new normal, and you and your fiance seem to spend all of your time consumed with wedding plans.

Sounds familiar? According to a survey by fearcourse.com

• 71% of brides-to-be suffered from some type of nerves during the build-up to their wedding
• 92% of brides experienced nerves on the day of the wedding or the evening before
• 66% reported that it affected their daily lives prior to it, or hampered their performance and enjoyment during the day itself.

These feeling of overwhelm could be caused by a number of issues in the busy lead up to your wedding.

• Budget
• Guest lists
• Seating plans
• Suppliers who don't deliver
• Disagreements over some of the wedding details
• Family pressure
• Wanting the day to be perfect.

Whatever your reasons are, perhaps it is time to take a wedding planning break, just you and your partner spending time together, just hanging out and remembering your reasons why you wanted to get married.

Taking a mini break dedicated to you as a couple is a great way to let you see the big picture, strengthen your bond, and to set a good pattern for your marriage, especially after you have kids.

Minibreaks could be an afternoon off, a weekend off, or even a whole week with wedding planning put on the back burner, while you spend time looking after your relationship. Some great mini breaks are :

• A couples massage session
• An afternoon movie session
• A romantic dinner date
• A weekend away at your favourite B and B
• Bingeing out on a whole TV series.
• A walk on the beach.

Today I spent the better part of the day with other like minded celebrants doing Ongoing Professional Development. This is an annual legal requirement of being a celebrant.

These days are great to learn some new ideas and have  some fellowship with other celebrants.

Thanks for running today's OPD Yvonne.  :)

Some of these activities are ceremonies where people who are already Australian citizens, born here or overseas, can come to affirm their loyalty and commitment to Australia and its people. As such they have been termed Citizenship Affirmation ceremonies.

We can start planning ways we can host Citizenship affirmation ceremonies in our communities to uphold the values and practicies our forebears developed - our Indigenous peoples and our newer arrivals - that make Australia a caring and respectful multicultural democratic society. The core of the ceremony is the 'vow' or the 'promise". . . 

Any promise or commitment we make is important. However as celebrants we understand that when we make promises publicly we give those promises, and those who receive them more power, honour and respect.

Learn more about ceremonies in this TCN section and more about Australian Citizenship Day from the Department of Immigration and Border Protection.

Listening is when we not only hear what the other person is saying, but we also store and analyse that information.  

It is easy to think you are listening when really you are just letting the other person talk while you are busy thinking of the next thing that you want to say - this is not really listening!

If you are always talking, or thinking about the next thing you want to say, you are only ever listening to the things that you already know, but if you listen to somebody else, there's a good chance that you might learn something new.

Active listening means paying attention, showing that you are paying attention by your body language, giving feedback to check and show understanding, delaying judgement and responding appropriately. 

 The client can explain their requirements, concerns and preferences and the celebrant can advise on ways to meet those needs and give guidance on any ideas that might cause logistical or other difficulties.  

TCN Celebrates its Day of Love -  1 September 2016.

Why have we spent all day shouting about love all over our Social Media?

Because, as Celebrants, all of our work is about love.

When we marry a couple, they are deeply in love, and the wedding service more often than not reminds the couples attending about their love story.

When we name a child everyone there is full of love for the child.

When we officiate at significant birthdays and other events, there is always lots of love woven into the ceremony.

As Celebrants, we make can your ceremony of LOVE the most memorable time of your life.

So, what are you waiting for?

Check out our amazing group of Celebrant.

You won’t be disappointed.

The pace of change is enormous. Once upon a time, our men were the sole bread winners with careers in the one field and often spanning 40 years.

Our men were engaged in volunteer work in their communities with sporting clubs, service clubs, churches and the like.

So when and where do we give them that special acknowledgement they need?

To have a “Party with a Purpose” by engaging a TCN celebrant to create a special thank you to one or more “fathers” in our lives.

This can be a relaxed and fun occasion commenced by a well organised tribute to those who have fathered, or do fathering as step-parents, uncles and mentors.

Let’s do more than "put a shrimp on the barbie" and give a bottle of after-shave - if not for this year, then for 2017.

Locations that are Popular for Weddings

If you want an outdoor wedding always have a Plan B in case of bad weather……too hot or too cold. If you are using a public place you may need to apply for a permit. 

Don’t choose the first place you see…..unless you absolutely fall in love with it.

For more advice about choosing a venue, contact one of the TCN Celebrants

Footnote:  Many couples choose the outdoors for their wedding to take advantage of the beautiful scenery. When deciding on an outdoor venue please take into consideration the need to tidy up after the celebration.

Australia Beautiful Week is an annual event and runs from 22nd to 28th August and the theme this year is ‘Do the Right Thing’ for a litter free and sustainable Australia.  

With our youngsters, this could be way of allowing them to learn the benefits of giving by allowing them to nominate a birthday or perhaps simply organise a party where the aim is to fund-raise. The skills learned and the sense of achievement are wonderful gifts for our children and grandchildren - gifts for life. Rather than some toys that are soon forgotten.

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You (and your partner) have important things to be thinking about; your sole job today is to get married.  Leave all of the other side bits and pieces to somebody else.  Either employ a Day-of Wedding-Co-ordinator or ask a trusted friend to take care of all those last minute things.

Keep Up The Communication

It's important to keep up communication on the day of your wedding. With your fiance, check on how you are both feeling.  If you are choosing to not see each other before the ceremony, then you could write each other a little note confirming your feelings and putting their minds at ease; with your Day-of Co-ordinator/trusted friend, keeping them informed as things change (also a great idea is to give this person's phone number to your celebrant and other suppliers); with your bridal party - if you're feeling nervy, let them know so they can help you through it.

Let It Go

Photo Credit: Arina B. Photography

There are going to be things that go wrong - there I said it.  You have to accept that and move on.  The most important thing on this special day is not whether the flowers are the right colour or if the flowergirl tipped all the petals on the ground in one place, then stormed off...... The most important thing is that you and your partner get married.  Everything else is decoration and/or funny.

Find The Funny


Speaking of flowergirls doing the dump and run... being able to laugh relieves stress and nerves tremendously!  You might like to speak to your celebrant about including a funny story into your ceremony, helping you to relax whilst engaging your guests.

Why not contact our TCN Celebrants to ensure a stress free ceremony.

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So, you are sitting there with your budget wondering why anyone could charge that much money for less than an hour’s work? 

Without the celebrant, your wedding is just a great party. The celebrant ensures that your party is actually a wedding. 

SO, how do you budget for your celebrant? First, you need to select your celebrant, and do that based on which one feels right for you, not based on their cost. And make sure that you book the date with them, and pay your deposit. 

Then, you can work out the best way to budget for the celebrant, in the same way you would budget for your cake, your reception, the photographer, the hairdresser. 

Some celebrants will happily work with you to organise a “lay by” scheme, whilst others have a scheduled three payment option. Talk with your celebrant about the best options for both of you. 

Having your perfect celebrant perform your perfect wedding ceremony is something that you will remember for the rest of your life.

With your perfect celebrant you can create magic on your wedding day and you can find your perfect celebrant in the TCN directory by clicking here.

READ MORE about Civil Celebrants by clicking here. 

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It seems in recent times, more families, who would normally be choosing a civil funeral service, are having a private service or even a simple viewing to say 'goodbye' to their loved one, then organising a Memorial for the wider circle of family and friends a few weeks later. 

There may be many good reasons for taking this approach.

Flexibility with timing for the ceremony

Having a Memorial a few weeks after the death, gives extra time for planning the ceremony and more choice of day of the week, time of day, length and content of the ceremony, and location.  This flexibility can be very useful where family and friends are overseas or interstate.

The family can take time to find a civil celebrant who suits the style of tribute the family wants.  Civil celebrants are very flexible about the arrangements and will encourage family members to be involved in planning the ceremony and actively participating in it.

Consideration of Costs 

You may have a beautiful urn or hand crafted box with the deceased’s ashes as a focal point.  You may have a favourite photo, or display of personal items in place.

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If you're unsure how to go about starting this type of converstaion, there are people that can help you, like the organisation called: Death Over Dinner who recently featured on Ch 10's The Project who do exactly that - helping people to have that awkward conversation about your dying wishes.

You could also contact one of our wonderful TCN Funeral Celebrants to help you with ideas.

READ MORE about pre-funerals planning here.

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An indoor-outdoor venue

Spring certainly makes you think of flowers, new life and sunshine after the cold wintery months.  However, while a day full of glorious spring sunshine would be great, keep in mind that the weather is still a little unpredictable, so take this into consideration when you are choosing your venue.  

Book early!

Go seasonal

Be prepared

Be kind to your bridesmaids

Spring Gifts

Contact one of our TCN Celebrants and start sharing your spring wedding ideas!

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History of Blessingways

 

Bead Ceremony

Candle ceremony

 Massaging the Mother

Flowers

 

Belly Casting 

Prayer Flags

Post Birth Support

 

If you would like to know more about a Blessingway Ceremony - speak to a TCN Celebrant

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No matter how confident you are that your day will be perfect, there is always a chance it might rain or there might be an unscheduled heatwave or be too windy for your bridesmaids to stand up straight, or maybe the venue has just called to let you know they've started renovations..... you will have to make a snap decision as to what you're going to do.

Having a back up plan in place:

* makes things more relaxing for your guests, knowing they won't be uncomfortable

* takes the stress away from you on the day

*leaves you to enjoy your day in the sun..... or rain.

Do you have a story about having to change your wedding plans at the last minute?  

Share it in the comments.

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It looks like this:       


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Mother’s Day Selfie:  Start another family tradition of taking funny selfies of your family with your Mum as the central figure.  Then you can print them out and make a collage of the day.  You can look back on that every day and remember how special your Mum is.

What about some fabulously fun ways for the grown ups to celebrate Mother’s Day?

A family reunion - gather all your beloved family members together at a park or someone’s backyard and whilst you bbq and share out the potato salad, you can share stories of why the mothers in the group are so wonderful.

Share in your Mum’s hobbies - maybe gardening is her passion, she might like old Doris Day movies, or she might just love pottering in the kitchen making those mini cakes she’s famous for - get in there with her.  Learn, laugh, love.

Surprise Mum with a “This Is Your Life” Ceremony - all you need to do is speak to a celebrant and together you can pull off the most fantastic surprise for your Mum.

Click here for more information

Every year my Mum says “All I would like is some flowers and and choccies.  I don’t need anything else.”  But she does get more than that, even if she doesn’t realise it.

I’m not talking about tangible, wrapped handkerchiefs or scented candles or soaps, I’m talking about the unconditional love, admiration and gratitude for everything that she does for me.  To me, she is more than my Mum - she’s my best friend and it brings a tear to my eye to even say the words ‘I’d be lost without her’, but there are lots of people out there who will be celebrating Mother’s Day without their Mums.  Your Mum will always be special and it's important to keep them in your memory.

* Make her favourite recipe

* Sew all her old scarves together into a patchwork quilt

 CLICK HERE you'll find some more lovely ideas to keep her close with you this Mother’s Day.

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This next snippet was on a friend's Facebook page today.....

"A lovely military man selling poppies stopped me today and asked if he could re-position mine - while doing so he told me that women should wear their poppy on their right side; the red represents the blood of all those who gave their lives, the black represents the mourning of those who didn't have their loved ones return home, and the green leaf represents the grass and crops growing and future prosperity after the war destroyed so much. The leaf should be positioned at 11 o'clock to represent the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, the time that World War One formally ended. He was worried that younger generations wouldn't understand this and his generation wouldn't be around for much longer to teach them."

Lest we forget...

Talk to one of our celebrants who can assist you with preparing a ceremony.

Poems play a very important part in all of the ceremonies we celebrants perform.

A poem that has been carefully selected, can add a depth to your ceremony. A great poem can add a touch of humour, a gentle romantic touch, a spiritual tone or a sense of solemn respect, and so much more.

 It can express a parent’s love for their child at a baby naming, a couple’s love and commitment in a wedding ceremony or renewal of vows, and showcase a life in a funeral ceremony.

The big question is, how do you selection poems.



One really workable suggestion is to build up a collection of poems to offer your clients, and to add to the collection all of the time to keep your selections fresh and appealing.

I keep mine in different folders to make it easier to pick the best poem for the ceremony: modern love poems, classic love poems, naming poems, funeral poems, etc., and make sure that you follow the copyright laws, and always, always, always acknowledge the poet.


Fortunately, there are lots of tools online to help.

Here are just three wedding poem lists after a quick Google search:

• The Poetry Foundation offers a small list that covers classical and offbeat poems.
  
  www.poetryfoundation.org
  
  
• Hitched has highlighted a number of wonderful poems to select from.
  
  www.hitched.com.au
  
  
• A Practical Wedding lists these “non-cheesy” poems. 
  
  apracticalwedding.com

And three funeral poetry guides :

• FamilyFriendPoems , a website dedicated to Poetry, has a great section on Funeral poetry.
  
  www.familyfriendpoems.com
  
  
• FuneralHelper has a collection of Non Religious Poetry.
  
  www.funeralhelper.org
  
  
• LastingPost has a vast number of poems and readings.
  
  www.lastingpost.com

Naming day poems are always very personal to the parents, and often the parents have researched and selected the poem for themselves.

• PoemSource is a great place to start.
  
  www.poemsource.com

On the Forum Board on our TCN website, there is a New Forum Topic for you as TCN members to put links to your favourite poems.

So, can you hop online, find your favourite poem and add the link to this Forum, and we will end up with a great resource section of poetry for all occasions.

*  The creation of our brand new and improved website - more user friendly and easier to navigate, while still housing all the resources, articles, directories and forums that you could ever need.

* Our wonderful two day conference at the Novotel in Darling Harbour Sydney where our members met with old and new friends, heard some fabulous inspiring speakers and completed their annual professional development obligations.  

TCN is a national organisation that primarily communicates online, so it is possible for everyone to join in and participate in discussions and projects no matter where you are in Australia.  We are also continuing to build up a strong presence on social media with pages on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and Instagram

Our TCN Committee is a group of volunteers committed to supporting our members as well as strengthening the professionalism and expertise of all civil celebrants through our active involvement in the peak body, CoCA.

TCN members elect a new committee each year at the AGM in March, and we are very happy to welcome our new Committee for 2016-2017.

We very much look forward to a year of community, harmony, OPD days and special projects throughout the year. 

All celebrants and non-celebrant Affiliates are welcome to join TCN - Visit our webpage and see the fabulous resources and benefits we offer our Members.

Rona Goold
Coordinator Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia
Civil Marriage and Family Celebrant

Last year our family had a tragic loss when one of my husband's nephews died while snorkeling. He was 26.

His life just opening up to all the wonder of life's creation and opportunities. "Life cut short too soon, wise, soft . . ."#

It was a bitter, bittersweet time to review his life. Seeing Sam as baby, a toddler, child, teenager and young man brought back the memories hidden in the mind and heart.

His ceremony strengthened resolve to treasure all our loved ones, with awareness that life is short. To honour all those who give a part of who they are, to become a part of who we are. To be present to pain and loss. To support those who grieve beyond ending. To be present to the love within us and around us. And yet to face a new dawn with courage and hope for one more day of life's journey, knowing our turn comes inevitably to join the mystery of death.

Civil ceremonies tap deep into the human need to honour life, to share our stories, our pain, our truth and  hope. They may or may not acknowledge the specific religious beliefs of some present, but they all aim to treasure life.

Easter time can be for everyone a time to mourn and treasure the past, reflect upon presence and the present, and renew hope for the next moment.

May this Easter bring peace of mind and heart to all - with a touch of delight in the shape of an egg!

# Words texta-d on Sam's coffin.

Easter Celebrations

As with many other Christian dates, the celebration of Easter extends beyond the church and since its origins, it has been a time of celebration and feasting.

Easter Sunday morning is often filled with children (of all ages) searching for chocolate eggs and treats which have been mysteriously hidden all over the house and garden. According to the children's stories, the eggs were delivered by the Easter Bunny in an Easter basket which children find waiting for them when they wake up. (The Easter Bunny's motives for doing this have still not been clarified.)

 

These secular rituals often have origins in Christian symbolism; the eggs, for example, can be taken as signs of rebirth and resurrection. 

Some of Easter's symbols can be traced back still further; some (such as the Easter bunny, originally a hare) seem to have their origins in earlier pagan rituals celebrating nature's springtime rebirth.  In Australia it is not spring time, however we have adopted the tradition in keeping with our northern hemisphere cousins.




Whether you belong to a religion or not, there are plenty of ways to celebrate Easter...

Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day

Shrove Tuesday is the last day before Lent. In earlier days there were many foods that observant Christians would not eat during Lent such as meat and fish, eggs, and milky foods. So that no food was wasted, families would have a feast on the shriving Tuesday, and eat up all the foods that wouldn't last the forty days of Lent without going off.

Pancakes became associated with Shrove Tuesday because they were a dish that could use up perishable foodstuffs such as eggs, fats and milk, with just the addition of flour.

Many Australian groups and communities make and share pancakes on Shrove Tuesday. 

Selling pancakes to raise money for charity is also a popular activity - and that's what I call Partying with a purpose!

Family Reunion

Perhaps you and your family could use the public/bank holidays to reconnect with each other and to make it a more meaningful event, you could add a ceremony to your reunion celebrating all the fabulous events that have happened in all your family member's lives since the last time that you saw each other - you could invite your Family Celebrant to create a ceremony for your family gathering and make it an annual event!

What other Easter traditions are special to your family?

Releasing the doves
The happy bride and groom release a pair of white doves — one male, the other female — into the air, which represent a harmonious life together for the newly married couple.



China:

Wardrobe Changes
In China, brides typically walk down the aisle in a slim-fitting, embroidered dress ... what is called a traditional qipao or cheongsam. For the reception, they change into a more poofy, decked out gown with Western flare. But the bridal fashion show doesn't end there! To cap the night, Chinese brides often make a final change into a cocktail dress. Total: three dresses!

This is what is so wonderful about living in such a multicultural society; each culture bringing with them their rich traditions and colourful customs. 

Together we stand in harmony

#harmondyday

Why not speak to one our many fabulous TCN Celebrants to see how you can incorproate cultural customs into your own wedding celebrations?

Every year on the 8th March women all over the world are celebrated.

So there is still much more work to be done!

 We, at TCN are all about the celebrations in life; and we are all for equality and human rights for everybody.

Celebrating Women

Here are some ways you can celebrate the women you know this month (and every month - why stop there?)

Note:  These tips are not just for men - women should be celebrating other women as well.

1. Tell your mother how precious she is to you and let her know you are thankful for everything she has done in her life

2. Show your sister that she is a very important person in your life

3. Encourage your daughter to be anything that she wants to be and let her know that her gender should never be a barrier

4. Visit your Grand Mother and use the annual Mothers Day to engage a celebrant for a special ceremony for all the mothers in your family

These are all very simple and easy things to do, so if you want to stretch yourself further a field......

6. Volunteer at or donate to a women's refuge

7. Donate money or your time to women's charities

8. Be the voice in your company or organisation who stands up for those women not being paid or treated fairly

Why not add a ceremony to the celebration of the women in your life? 

Contact a TCN celebrant to find out how

Read more about all the ways celebrants can assist you in celebrating life

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TCN are holding 6 full day (8.45am - 5.00pm) Professional Development days in various locations around the country this year.

The compulsory and elective topics for each session will be presented by:

Experienced celebrant and coordinator of the International College of Celebrancy's OPD Program

Yvonne Werner

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Each day will be fantastic and will build upon the importance of our roles as celebrants in our communities as well as exploring how you can use your TCN Membership to market yourself and the Civil Celebration Network.

What a great way to meet up with some of your fellow TCN members as well as some of the hard working members of the committee.

⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜

Just to make things easier for you...

You can choose to pay your OPD fees in three installments..... 

click HERE for part payments.

TCN is keen to make sure that OPD is not just another 'tick in the box' but a really valuable part of the services TCN offer to support it's members.

Book your place and find more information here

10am - 8pm @ Victoria Park, Camperdown

Come and visit our stall at Fair Day and meet some of our fabulous

TCN Family Celebrants.

Read more about how you can celebrate every stage of your life

How are you going to celebrate your new baby and welcome her or him into your family and community?  For some couples the answer is easy - baby will be welcomed into their Church family, probably with the same ceremony that was used for the parents years before, and there will often be a family party to celebrate the occasion.

There is an alternative available for couples who prefer not to have a religious ceremony - a Naming or Name-giving ceremony conducted by a Civil Celebrant.  This personalised ceremony can be held in any location the parents choose - a park or garden, in a home, at a hall or restaurant - wherever suits your plans.  Baby can be welcomed in to the family or the wider friendship group in a beautiful ceremony that reflects the beliefs and wishes of the parents.  If you want to you can include some religious content such as a prayer or blessing.  Older siblings can participate in various ways, the parents might choose friends or family members to be mentors/guardians/guide parents/godparents to the baby. Music and poetry or stories will probably be included. 

There are more ideas here

Celebrants from the The Celebrants Network can help you by creating and delivering a beautiful and memorable ceremony to welcome your baby into the world.

Here's wishing a happy, healthy and hopeful New Year to everyone

"People of our time are losing the power of celebration. Instead of celebrating we seek to be amused or entertained. Celebration is an active state, an act of expressing reverence or appreciation. To be entertained is a passive state -- it is to receive pleasure afforded by an amusing act or a spectacle... Celebration is a confrontation, giving attention to the transcendent meaning of one's actions." -- Abraham Joshua Heschel

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." -- Oprah Winfrey

May 2016 be a year for more celebration and appreciation of life for us all!

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: We can pool our money and other resources to buy something really special such as making the celebration THE gift.

We could pool our $$$$ to engage a professional independent celebrant, rather than everyone buying their own individual gift.

Like well designed stage play, a special event may cost from $ 600 to $ 2000 or more. This may seem a lot, but is it really if the price is spread across a lot of people and the event has longer lasting benefits.

A $ 600 ceremony package can be covered by

• 20 participants donating $ 30 per head OR
• 50 participants at $ 12 OR
• 100 participants at $6 per head

A $ 2000 ceremony package can be covered by

• 20 participants donating $ 100 per head OR
• 50 participants at $ 40 OR
• 100 participants at $ 20 per head

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What to do with those books gathering dust on your bookshelf?

Here is a fabulous, low-cost, easy and fun craft activity, which you can make yourself to decorate your ceremonial space.  

A unique decorative idea for a wedding ceremony or any special occasion.  

These lanterns are made entirely from old books and were made by my daughters at our local library school holiday lantern making workshop this week.

Why not gather your bridal party together and make many?

All you need is a book and some ribbon!!  The older and more ragged the book with yellowing pages the better as the final product gives a fabulous vintage look to your lantern.   Feel free to email me for the instructions at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Posted by Robbie Fincham Civil Celebrant, Melbourne

The changes to society in the last 200 years in western culture have brought many benefits, but also many negatives

• people are separated from family support and roots by employment needs and thus young and old alike are more isolated. Thus at higher risk of depression.
• the wedding is too late for relationship education. Becoming an adult, leaving home, getting engaged are better times to promote those services

Have you ever thought of giving a loved one a ceremony as a gift?  Perhaps this sounds a bit strange but think about it a bit more.  How many people recognise this scenario:

Your sister from interstate rings - "It's Mum's 80th birthday in 3 months time - what are we going to do about it?"  You talk a little more and decide that it would be a good time to get the family together and have a bit of a party to celebrate.  So the message goes out - the family are all primed to be at Mum's favourite restaurant where you have booked a private room for lunch on the big day.  A few of Mum's close friends are let in on the secret and invited and the plan is underway.

The next phone call is almost inevitable - "what shall we get Nan for a present? - it should be something special for her 80th"  So you talk to a friend who happens to be a Celebrant.  And this is what you come up with:

Let the celebration be the gift

Suggest to all attending that the very best gift for Mum will be the company and love of her family and friends. Agree that each will make a contribution to that gift by being a participant in the day.  Engage a Civil Celebrant to coordinate the arrangements and conduct a short ceremony before the lunch.  Decide to share the cost of the meal and Celebrant in whatever way is fair for your family and circumstances.  

Your Celebrant will put a lot of work into the day as Coordinator and Presenter.  She will work with you to design your ideal ceremony.  Her suggestions might include - Let the children and grandchildren nominate a role they will take on the day - to sing, play, read a poem, make a DVD from Mum's photos, compile a CD of songs from different eras of your Mum's life, present flowers, make a speech, bake a cake, escort Nan to the venue and so on.  Your celebrant will weave these contributions into a ceremony.  She may invite everyone who is attending to write a letter or card that shares some special memory they have of your Mum and compile these into a gift book.  She will probably record the highlights of Mum's life There are many possibilities and you will be able to discuss these and decide what suits your needs.

By the time the big day arrives you and your family will have created a unique gift for a special person.

To find a The Celebrants Network Celebrant to help you plan or to get more information and ideas for a special celebration have a look at our website

A good celebrant is much more than a good performer. They need to be  .. . . .

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ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG:

Most professional civil celebrants are professionals in private practice.

That is, unlike most religious celebrants, the civil celebrant has to cover all their costs of operating a home-based celebrancy practice from the fees they charge 'up-front' for their ceremonies, BEFORE they make an hourly rate for their work.

Consider:

• Couples have not 'lay-buyed'  part of their ceremony as couples have via donations to a church or via government taxes to a Registry Office.
• A religious celebrant is usually supported financially by their church stipend and has their travel, phone and other expenses covered by their religious institution. Likewise registry office celebrant.
• A independent civil celebrant is required to ensure the ceremony suits the individual couple.
• In most cases, this requires considerable extra work in sourcing wedding prose, poetry and other materials, or even writing of new material by the celebrant.
• READ MORE

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG:  We all love to see expressions of delight when we make a love gesture a surprise!  But what if this backfires?

People need to be psychologically prepared to be the focus of attention, even if it is for a short while, by knowing they are going to a party or an event. Elderly people may have even more difficulty being fully present to the occasion if they are not prepared.

So the TCNA does not recommend “total” surprises for anyone. And of course, under no circumstances can the bride or groom be surprised about their own wedding . . .

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ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: Problem is by the time I've reached this age, I'll probably need someone else to organise this for me!

So how can a congratulatory message be organised? Australians who are celebrating a special birthday or wedding anniversary can receive personal congratulations from the Prime Minister, Governor-General or The Queen.

Who is eligible for a congratulatory message?

• The Prime Minister will send a message of congratulations to people turning 90 years of age or more.
• The Queen and Governor-General will send a message on a 100th birthday.

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Civil ceremonies and celebrations for significant life events - for individuals, couples, families or communities - are designed and delivered to provide an inclusive environment in which to

• honour all people - respecting the diversity of their individual talents and skills; gender; sexual preference, race; family, educational, religious, social, cultural backgrounds; life experiences; beliefs; personal, emotional, spiritual, social and other needs

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ASK A CELEBRANT  BLOG There are many things to consider in choosing a celebrant

Like a jigsaw puzzle, there are many things to consider before you have the full picture. Some people go on first impressions or “gut feelings”. Others choose on price – the least or most expensive. Yet others look for value for money.

Each of these on its own is rather limited when you consider the celebration can never be repeated!

But each has something valuable to consider, when trying to make the best decision for your situation.

Consider the celebrant’s ……..