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Harmony Day

Harmony Day - bringing everyone together, celebrating our differences and acknowledging our similarities in humanity...
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Old Wedding Ceremony Traditions – How they have transitioned into the 21st century

Traditions at a wedding are very important to couples and their families because if you don't follow the traditions.... did you really just get married? The answer is yes, but to some people it can feel like you didn't do it properly if you don't include them.  Here we look at some of the more popular wedding traditions and how they've morphed into a 21st century friendly version.  As these are very old traditions - please forgive the lack of equality in them.  Hopefully the way in which these traditions have transitioned will help to encompass all couples who wish to marry...

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The Kiss - What's appropriate?

Keep on kissing

We kiss people every day, and we generally know what's appropriate for each situation... but you know, the first kiss after the celebrant declares you married? The one with everyone watching as you lip lock in public with the cameras and videos working overtime. Yes, that kiss. That's not an everyday kiss that you will automatically know what to do. Today we're looking at what type of kiss is appropriate...

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Popular Wedding Traditions - Explained

There are loads of wedding traditions that people still live by and think that it's not a real wedding if we don't.....

wear a white dress;
have bridesmaids;
have my dad walk me down the aisle;
carry flowers:
something old, something new, something borrowed & something blue...

Because of tradition we base what constitutes a 'real' wedding on whether we follow what everybody else has done before us. 

Whilst traditions in general are important for continuity; making the moment special; and giving you something to look forward to, not all traditions are as relevant as they once were.

For example:

Wearing a white dress

Photo: Pixabay

Modern brides might describe their wedding dress as "cream" or "ivory," but in most cases, it's some variation on white. While there has been an emerging trend on colourful dresses, traditional brides have stayed true to the color white ever since Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in 1840. Before that most brides wore whatever was nicest piece of clothing in their cupboard, while nobility wore luxurious gowns embroidered with metallic thread. Victoria ditched the nobility's traditional silver gown for a white satin one, and unintentionally kick-started the tradition of the white wedding dress.

Note: It is not a legal requirement for you to wear white and it won't mean that you are any less married after your ceremony if you choose to wear something different.

Bridal Parties 

Photo: Pixabay

While bridesmaids are invaluable for moral support and helping you get in and out of your dress, originally they used to have a far more serious role in the wedding: protecting the bride from evil spirits. Bridesmaids were originally directed to dress just like the bride, and this was intended to confuse evil spirits or those who wished to harm the bride.

Note: It is not a legal requirement for you to have bridesmaids or groomsmen as such - you only need your celebrant and 2 witnesses, and you won't be any less married if you don't have a buck's or a hen's night.

Father Giving Away the Bride

Photo: Pixabay

Back in the day daughters were considered their father's property, meaning the father had the right to give his daughter to the groom, usually for a price which had to be paid to the bride's family before he could marry her.  This was called the dowry.  Times have changed a bit now and having dear old dad walk you down the aisle has become a sign of love and symbolic of the marrying couple having the support from all the parents as they move on with the next stage in their life. Some people have added mum into the mix with the bride walking in with either or both her parents and sometimes the groom also walks in with his parents first.  

Note: As this isn't a legal requirement, you can walk into your own ceremony any way you like with whom ever you want to support you.  How you walk in is generally irrelevant to the you actually getting married.

The Bride Arriving Late For The Ceremony 


This is not a tradition

and no reference to it as being "a thing" can be found, so from this moment forward, in my opinion only, as a show of respect for the groom, the families, all the guests, the celebrant, the musician, the photographer, the videographer, the venue, the co-ordinator, the car hire people and anybody else that it effects that all brides should arrive on time.

Note: Being super late for your ceremony could effect you becoming legally married on that day.

Please contact a TCN Celebrant today to find out more about the traditions that you'd like to include in your marriage ceremony.
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Don't Be Late!

Don’t be late!


Is it fashionable for the bride to be late to the ceremony anymore? 
Was it ever fashionable?  


There are valid excuses for being late:


Car trouble, traffic, wardrobe/hair/makeup malfunctions, nerves, forgot something vital to the ceremony… but intentionally planning to keep your guests waiting because you think it’s a tradition or so you can make a grand entrance is not necessary. 
Being late is as much a tradition as it is lucky when it rains on your wedding day - it's just something people say... and your entrance will be grand regardless of what time you arrive.



Image source:

The same excuses can be allowed for guests, however intentionally arriving any later than 15+ minutes before the ceremony is due to start is not ok.  


Perhaps people assume that the bride will be ‘fashionably late’ and therefore what’s the point of arriving early? 
But what if this bride is considering the comfort of her guests and valuing her celebrant/photographer/videographer/musician/other ceremony service provider’s time and arrives on time for the ceremony - then you run the risk of missing the beginning of the ceremony or causing a ruckus coming in half way through.


Let’s ditch this idea that the bride (or groom) should be late to the ceremony.



Image source: Pixabay

Let me tell you an extreme, and yet very true story of what can happen if you choose to be late on a hot day.  


Imagine, if you will, a very hot day - sweltering in fact... I'm talking up and over 40℃




Your guests have arrived 15 minutes early as instructed.  They are dressed in their finery, ladies in heels and make up, gents in long pants and suit jackets.  You have opted for the magnificent location of that park near that lake where there’s not a lot of shade.  Your guests have not thought to bring hats or umbrellas, possibly not being familiar with the park’s shade offerings.  So they stand uncomfortably in the sun, holding their clutch purses over their faces, slowly melting, silently hoping that the bride will be on time.



Photo credit: Shell Brown

The groom and his best man are dressed in their 3 piece suits, looking marvellous except for their glistening red faces and parched lips.
The bride is sitting somewhere in air conditioning having the finishing touches done to her hair and make up.  The girls are having a last champas before getting into the air conditioned car to get to the ceremony….. it doesn’t matter if we’re a bit late, they decide - it’s fashionable, right?



Image source: Pixabay

Cut back to the park where the guests have now been standing in the blazing sun for 30 minutes, with no bridesmaid filled vintage limo in sight.  The guests haven’t brought any water, as they didn’t think they’d be standing there for this long.  One of the nanas has thought to bring a fan with her and she is starting to look way too flushed. Her breathing slows down as she slumps slightly in her chair.



Image source:

The girls are finally in the limo and are super excited to be on their way.  The guests have been waiting for 45 minutes now and people are losing their patience and good humour.  The limo pulls up to the park, it’s another 10 minutes while the bride has some photos in the car, then gets out of the car and has more photos in front of the car, then with the bridesmaids, then one with her dad, then a few of the bride with the bridesmaids fussing around her dress…. 



Image source: Pixabay

The guests can see she has arrived and are wondering, as they wipe the sweat from their eyes, waterproof mascara running, why she hasn’t started walking towards them yet.  People can get cross and fed up in the heat.


The bride finally arrives and can’t understand why her guests all look furious and a little damp.



Sure - this might be far fetched, but people can get cranky in the heat! Image source:

Nana manages to make it though the ceremony - only just and is then taken to hospital with heat stroke.  Another two guests opt to go home because standing out in the heat has made them feel sick.


So… to be late or not to be late?



Image source:

If you would like some advice on how best to plan your ceremony so that everybody makes it through to the reception, why not #askacelebrant? 
You can contact a TCN Celebrant by clicking this link.


And if you do have a guest suffer from heat stroke - here are some handy hints 

* ____________________________________ *

Thank you for joining us....

?? We would love it if you would let us know what you think ?.  

There is a comment section ? at the bottom ⬇ of the blog for you to do just that.  

? Click on the word "Comment" and go for it!

? Don't forget to subscribe ? to this blog - the "subscribe" button is up the top of the page ⇞⇞⇞ and the blog will magically ?? appear in your email inbox ?.

Also please feel free to share ? our blog on your social media ? so we can spread the love ?! 

Please use this ? link: when you share. ? 

Find us on FacebookTwitter & Instagram

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