I was thinking about this question when someone recently suggested that civil ceremonies were a "cheap" option compared with the traditional church wedding.  Really nothing could be further from the true reason people choose civil ceremonies.  No matter where the ceremony is held, the cost of a wedding is determined by all the extras - dresses, flowers, photographs, cars, reception and so on, and these are usually the same whether the ceremony is civil or church.

No! The real reasons are about atmosphere and choice.  For the couple who do not have strong connections with a church, the words, music and atmosphere of a church service can be alien.  Whereas with a civil ceremony the couple can choose the time and day, their favourite location, the words and music for their ceremony and can make vows to eachother that are truly meaningful to them.  This choice leads to a happy, relaxed atmosphere in which guests can really appreciate the love and commitment that the couple are showing towards each other.  No wonder that civil marriage ceremonies, conducted by celebrants trained in both ceremonial and legal requirements, are the most popular ceremonies today.

ASKACELEBRANT BLOG

On a Pop-up Wedding Day several couples are married at the same venue, in carefully controlled timeslots throughout the day.   They are certainly a fun, low cost alternative to the traditional large wedding.  For around $1000 and an hour of your time you have a short ceremony with a registered celebrant, photos in a pretty setting, a glass of champagne and some cake.  You don’t need to invite anyone – there will be witnesses on hand – or you might take a couple of guests with you. The ideal answer for couples who want a low key, no fuss, intimate occasion. 

Or is it? 

You should know that you can cut the costs and the fuss and still have total control of your wedding.  Choose a place that you both love and decide the day and time that suits you, book a celebrant for a simple short ceremony, book a photographer for a one hour shoot or take along a talented friend with a camera, chill a bottle of decent bubbly, pick up a cake (or your favourite food) and enjoy your special day your way. Fun to plan whether it’s your secret or shared with some close friends, unique and personal. Plus, you’ll definitely save money!

ASKACELEBRANT BLOG:

A Message from the National Chairperson of our Australian celebrant peak body for marriage celebrants - The Coalition of Celebrant Associations.

Dear Colleagues

It is with saddened hearts the Coalition of Celebrants Association (CoCA) Inc wishes to inform all our colleagues in the celebrancy world that Robyn Caine our CoCA Chairperson until 2 days ago and  founding member of CoCA passed away this afternoon. Robyn will always be a treasured part of our lives and her work will live on in the fabric of our celebrancy world and beyond.

May Robyn’s family, friends and colleagues have peace of mind and heart in saying farewell to such a courageous and gracious lady, find  support needed in the times ahead when Robyn’s presence will be missed and give thanks for having the privilege of sharing Robyn’s love and  journey through life.

Tributes for Robyn may be placed on a special webpage CoCA has set up here on the CoCA website.

Kindest regards

Dorothy Harrison
CoCA Chairperson & MCA Delegate

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: What does the ceremony do for a wedding?

Your wedding ceremony sets the tone for the rest of your wedding day and creates memories for you, your family and friends for years ahead

Getting married is about making one of the most important legal, emotional, social, economic and practical commitments you will ever make in your life.

It is a day too, that will never be able to be repeated.

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: What did we do? from TCN Civil Funerl Celebrant Jan Woolrych

As we all know ‘things happen’ and we have no control of these things no matter how well we plan.  Yesterday on the M1 from the Sunshine Coast to Brisbane there was an accident which caused the M1 to be closed/blocked/diverted for around 3 hours.  Hopefully those injured are on the mend.  Our thoughts are with them and their families.

I was to conduct a Funeral Ceremony at Mt Thompson Crematorium (south of Brisbane) at 1.00pm and was travelling to Brisbane with the Funeral Director when we were caught in the traffic snarl.

ASKACELEBRANT BLOG: Christmas in Australia by TCNA Celebrant Member Eunice Phipps

Christmas in Australia is always so darn hot;
If we could build a snowman, he would melt right on the spot.
Christmas in Australia is never white with snow;
Its boiling in the coolest shade, no matter where we go.
Christmas in Australia means there is no fireplace;
For Santa to step out of, with soot upon his face.

Christmas in Australia means we can’t ride down hills on sleds;
We’d have to use a billy cart and brave the roads instead.
Christmas in Australia means we cannot skate on ice;
Unless we go to skating rinks, and pay a hefty price.

Christmas in Australia, not a snow plough to be seen;
We do have trucks that sweep the street, to keep our cities clean.
Christmas in Australia and not a single reindeer in sight;
Here Santa uses Kangaroos, to pull him through the night.

Christmas in Australia, Santa’s suit is way too hot;
But still we see him struggle on, he must really sweat a lot.
Christmas in Australia and it’s way too hot to cook;
Our Christmas lunch is shared with flies, who want our cold cooked chook.

Christmas in Australia means there is no snow ball fight;
I guess we could throw ping pong balls…. at least they would be white.
Christmas in Australia no chestnuts to roast upon the fire;
But we can buy boiled peanuts; if that is our desire.

Christmas in Australia no real fir trees to decorate;
We all use the store bought ones, and some look really great.
Christmas in Australia is as hot as hot can be;
But my Christmas in Australia, is the only place for me.
Because it’s shared with you my friend,
And my precious family.

Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, New Year!

by Eunice Phipps

This week featured celebrant is Sonia Collins from Batemans Bay NSW.

My name is Sonia Collins and I am a Civil Celebrant in Batemans Bay, New South Wales.   This is a very popular area for weddings, with couples coming from Canberra, Sydney and Melbourne, and country towns across NSW and Vic, as well as our local area. The area has great venues for weddings and for receptions and with the natural beauty of the coast and the bush it is not surprising that Batemans Bay is a first choice for many couples especially those with happy memories of time spent here on holidays.I have enjoyed a satisfying career in Human Resource Management and my interest in people led me to undertake the training to become a Marriage Celebrant.

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: (www.celebrants.org.au) Customer Satisfaction rankings - Australia’s leading business review website womo.com.au (word of mouth online) has released new research revealing civil celebrants in the nation’s top 10 best  performers for customer satisfaction.

ASKACELEBRANT BLOG - Are you a bride or groom wondering about whether marriage is really for you? Marriage is a long term commitment. Even in a country where there is divorce, marriage carries thousands of years of expectations and hope that this is a relationship  "for life".

So what questions do you ask yourself to figure out if you are ready to take that BIG step?

Here's an article that uses no religious arguments - yet would be very much at home in many religious faiths - and what's more it is written by a bloke!

Our thanks to Seth Adam Smith for sharing his personal experiences on marriage :

http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/

ASKACELEBRANT BLOG:
This is a delightful personal story about the value of family and community in ceremonies and an example of the sorts of stories  our couples and  families could write about their wedding and other ceremony preparations.

The me, me, me wedding - By Hannah Seligson

http://www.tennantcreektimes.com.au/story/1771594/the-me-me-me-wedding/

Response by our TCNA Life Celebrant Member Dally M Messenger III to a Recent Letter

Unwedded bliss

Peter Waterhouse repeats an old slur often told by supporters of formal marriage, that de facto relationships just take the form of some sort of ''holding pattern'' until ''something better comes along'' (Letters, 15/8). My partner and I have been in a loving de facto relationship for more than 25 years, producing two wonderful sons on the way. We have never had any intention of either looking for something better or of getting married.

Congratulations to our lovely Lyn Knorr

Lyn achieves 40 years today as civil celebrant having been appointed in Australia on 24th July 1973, the second Civil Marriage Celebrant appointed in Australia and the first  in Victoria.

Celebrants and Celebrations Network Australia - TCN is privileged to have Lyn Knorr as one of our founding TCN Inc Committee members and a TCN Life Member. 

And with some long-timers at the 40 the Anniversary last Friday of the appointment of the first Civil Marriage Celebrant, Lois D'Arcy.

Lyn shared some of her memories of the Early Days at a 2005 celebrant conference. 

We thank her for her faithful service to the Australian public and our civil celebrancy profession and wish her all the very best in the years ahead.

Love Locks are gaining popularity in Australia and as The Age newspaper reported this week, Melbourne’s CBD has been hit with love lock fever, with several locations in the inner city, becoming popular places to “lock your love”. 

Love locks is an ancient custom, believed to have originated in China.  There are many cities around the world adorned with fences and bridges decorated with padlocks, symbolizing everlasting love.

Love locks are also gaining popularity in wedding ceremonies; a symbol of love and commitment between two people with the locking together of specially made “heart shaped” locks.  The key is then thrown away, symbolically locking their love together.

Whilst attaching padlocks to bridges in Melbourne may seem harmless enough, it seems the idea doesn't appeal to everyone and could actually pose a safety issue.

Read the full story in The Age, 16/7/13

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/the-lock-of-love-secures-romance-20130716-2q14g.html

Photo supplied by: Getty Images

Article supplied by Robbie Fincham, Melbourne Civil Celebrant, www.robbiefincham.com.au

Stonewall UK has confirmed that Queen Elizabeth has granted royal assent to the marriage equality bill, concluding its process and officially making it law. This makes the UK the 16th country to pass marriage equality, and same-sex couples will be able to begin marrying in England and Wales by next summer.

See more:
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/07/17/2313921/marriage-equality-is-officially-law-in-the-united-kingdom/?mobile=nc

How many of us like to be kept waiting?  I've never met anyone who did.

It has become fashionable lately to state on wedding invitations a start time, which is actually considerably different to the actual start time.  On the face of it, it sounds like a good idea; after all, we don't all have good time-keeping skills and if guests have arrived in advance of the ceremony time then they won't miss the ceremony, or will they?  Perhaps they were intending to miss the ceremony anyway and just turn up at the reception?

Earlier this year the Australian Government revoked its ban on issuing same-sex couples with the documents they needed to marry overseas.  Now it's time to revoke the ban on legally recognising these marriages. Fourteen countries currently allow Australians to enter same-sex marriages.

Several, including Japan and Israel, already recognise foreign same-sex marriages even they don't perform such marriages themselves. 

Senator Sarah Hanson-Young has introduced a Bill to lift this ban. This is the Australian Parliament's final chance before the election to represent the majority of Australians who support marriage equality and to show the world that Australia has a heart.   

If you wish to sign this petition the link is below.

www.change.org/en-AU/petitions/julia-gillard-and-tony-abbott-allow-australian-same-sex-couples-married-overseas-to-be-recognised-under-australian-law?utm_source=Australian+Marriage+Equality&utm_campaign=ddd64a1c2e-PetitionOSMarriedCouples&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_401f97f215-ddd64a1c2e-99488249

Blog entry supplied by Robbie Fincham, Melbourne Civil Marriage Celebrant
Photograph courtesy Lars Paysen Photography

Later this year I will be marrying a delightful couple who were both born in 1943 which makes them 70 years of age.   This really is wonderful, and testament to the adage that “it’s never too late for love and marriage”.  Marrying later in life is by no means the “norm” in Australia, but makes me wonder if it will become more common, in light of a report released today, 27^th May 2013, by the Australian Institute of Family Studies.  

Essentially the report saysthat there is growing evidence that more couples are delaying divorce until after 20 years of marriage.  This delay may be because they are waiting until their children reach adulthood. 

Therefore, it makes sense that if couples are delaying divorce, then they may also meet and marry a new partner much later in life. 

Like to read the article in full in The Australian today? Click here: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/nation/more-divorcing-after-20-years/story-e6frg6nf-1226650908092

From Rebecca Skinner
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia & TCN Inc Member
www.celebratinglifeschapters.com/‎

'Ethical Wills' are a Jewish tradition and the Hebrew Bible first described them 3,000 years ago (Genesis Ch.49).

Ethical Wills, which are not legal documents, can be either the life story of a person, the lessons they have learnt and wish to pass on or even their dreams and wishes for family members.

Being a  Civil Celebrant means that we are creating Ceremonies of love for  people within the community.  Ceremonies that Recognise and Celebrate the milestones in a person’s life. 

It does not matter whether it is a Marriage ,  Naming,  Commitment, Anniversary, Birthday, Rite of Passage, a Funeral or Memorial, a  Ceremony attached to any  Celebration adds meaning and enables the love to be shared by all who attend.

We Celebrants love what we do;  We love being able to create meaningful and memorable ceremonies for  people;  and in the words of Leo Buscalia, “We don’t love to be loved, we love to love!”  

On the 9^th and 10^th June in Melbourne at the Amora Hotel in Richmond, there will  be the opportunity for Celebrants to join together  to share experiences, to learn, to get to know each other and to celebrate and to share the love. 

It would be wonderful to see lots of Celebrants at the conference.  To find out more about this go to:

http://www.celebrations.org.au/blog/entry/general/invitation-celebrant-conference-not-to-miss

Proudly sponsored by:

Relationships Australia

From Roslyn McFarlane
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Member
The Celebrants Network Inc Vice Chair

http://www.accesscc.com.au/

When you think of a wedding, one normally thinks of the Bride wearing a beautiful white dress, a stunning bridal party dressed in colour co-ordinated clothes, amazing flowers and a wonderful reception at a  fancy wedding venue.   Often the choice of words,  music and vows  will be very predictable.  But it does not have to be that way!

Published by Robbie Fincham, Civil Celebrant based in Melbourne, Vic & Chairperson of TCN Inc.
www.robbiefincham.com.au

The song "You Can't Hurry Love" by The Supremes was the finale music played at Suzi and Evan's Commitment Ceremony, I had the very great privilege of conducting in January 2013.  What a fitting song it was too, as you will understand when you read about this most remarkable love story, which has spanned more than 35 years!!

Most couples marrying in Australia exchange rings during their wedding ceremony.  Another lovely sub-ceremony to include, as a leadup to this time honoured tradition, which is gaining popularity these days, is the Ring Warming Ceremony.  The "warming of the rings" which it's also called is a lovely way to also involve wedding guests.  So what happens during a ring warming?

Looking for something different to  include at your wedding?

What about a Sand Ceremony?

This is a lovely, unifying idea based on the idea of blending the bride and groom's families. Two containers of sand represent the single journeys the bride and groom were once on as well as their own families and friends.

From Rebecca Skinner

The Celebrants Network Incorporated Blog Coordinator
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Celebrant Member
www.celebratinglifeschapters.com

Hand tying or handfasting adds a lovely new dimension to a wedding ceremony. But what coloured ribbons should you choose?

All colours have their significance. For instance red is the colour of passion, strength and fertility; orange represents attraction and kindness while yellow is linked to confidence and joy.

Green, often used by financial institutions, represents prosperity along with health while blue, the colour of the ocean, stands for tranquility, devotion and sincerity.

Purple represents power, white- purity and peace and black, strength and success.

Pink is the colour of romance, brown is very grounding while gold is linked to energy, wealth (of course!) intelligence and longevity.

Silver on the other hand is the colour of creativity and inspiration.

So knowing all that, which colours would you choose? Maybe a mixture of them all...

“A Loving Heart is the Truest Wisdom ..” Charles Dickens
Free On-Line Memorials in our "In Memory Of" section

Introducing ASKACELEBRANT''s newest section "In Memory Of" on our www.celebrants.org.au website.

Do you have a loved one or friend, or respect a community member for whom you would like to make a tribute for their life?

Every day there are short poppies that stand tall in the lives of families and communities who never receive a public acknowledge in the "Obits" of even the local papers. ASKACELEBRANT wants to hear some of their stories.

Rona Goold
Coordinator Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia
Civil Marriage and Family Celebrant

Last year our family had a tragic loss when one of my husband's nephews died while snorkeling. He was 26.

His life just opening up to all the wonder of life's creation and opportunities. "Life cut short too soon, wise, soft . . ."#

It was a bitter, bittersweet time to review his life. Seeing Sam as baby, a toddler, child, teenager and young man brought back the memories hidden in the mind and heart.

His ceremony strengthened resolve to treasure all our loved ones, with awareness that life is short. To honour all those who give a part of who they are, to become a part of who we are. To be present to pain and loss. To support those who grieve beyond ending. To be present to the love within us and around us. And yet to face a new dawn with courage and hope for one more day of life's journey, knowing our turn comes inevitably to join the mystery of death.

Civil ceremonies tap deep into the human need to honour life, to share our stories, our pain, our truth and  hope. They may or may not acknowledge the specific religious beliefs of some present, but they all aim to treasure life.

Easter time can be for everyone a time to mourn and treasure the past, reflect upon presence and the present, and renew hope for the next moment.

May this Easter bring peace of mind and heart to all - with a touch of delight in the shape of an egg!

# Words texta-d on Sam's coffin.

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Post by Meg L’Estrange
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Member
Melbourne Victoria
http://meglestrange.com.au

Can a funeral be fun? 

You bet! 

For some families this is the best way to honour the person they have lost.

Bo:  Bo was a larger than life personality and stories of his antics abounded.

Post by Rona Goold
TCNA Coordinator
www.celebrants.org.au

Whether you received a special message today or not, isn't it great to have a day to acknowledge the value of love and friendship in our lives?

My husband and I will be married 20 years this year, so he did need the prompting of the local radio talk show to remind him that today is a special day :-)

There are many things to consider when choosing a Celebrant for your special celebration ...

Some people go on first impressions or “gut feelings”. Others choose on price – the least or most expensive. Yet others look for value for money.

Each of these on its own is rather limited when you consider the celebration can never be repeated!  So, what should you look for ?

From Rebecca Skinner

The Celebrants Network Incorporated Blog Coordinator
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Celebrant Member
www.celebratinglifeschapters.com

From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. And it's not just a story about pain and suffering, it's also a story about survival, the learning process, and seeing the silver linings.

We often treat troubles as real negatives. They come into all our lives with no notice and we don't want to have to deal with them. But the reality is, troubles can often open the door to many positives.

From Rebecca Skinner

The Celebrants Network Incorporated Blog Coordinator
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Celebrant Member
www.celebratinglifeschapters.com

Why do we wait until birthdays, Christmas or New Year's Eve to celebrate? I believe life is too short not to celebrate EVERY moment we can.

Without making the effort to mark a particular moment, life passes us by far too quickly and achievements and blessings can so easily get missed along the way...

. . . with family blessings

From Rebecca Skinner
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Celebrant Member
www.celebratinglifeschapters.com

At this time of the year, couples that are thinking of getting married often start to make plans.

Do we have small an intimate or big and flashy? A ceremony within a religious tradition, one with religious elements or one that focuses their personal spiritual beliefs and values about relationship and family?

The difficulty with big and flashy can be the cost - sometimes an amount that would make a great deposit on a house or purchase a new car outright!

From Rebecca Skinner
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Celebrant Member
www.celebratinglifeschapters.com

Animals provide companionship, acceptance, emotional support and unconditional love.

They become part of our family, a much loved friend, and a large part of our lives. So when they’re no longer with us, it’s quite normal to feel an intense sorrow and the pain of loss and separation.

A memorial service embraces the grieving process, acknowledges a special relationship with a pet and offers comfort to those that have loved and lost. It is also a chance to celebrate their life and to remember all the happy times together. Anatole France, a French poet, journalist, and novelist famously remarked: “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.”

The third Celebrant initiated Community Memorial Service was held on Wednesday 5th December in Ferntree Gully, Melbourne.  Robyn O'Connell, Funeral Celebrant, headed up a small, but dedicated team of celebrants to once again organise a memorial service for the community in Melbourne. 

2012 saw the first celebrant organised Mother's Day and Father's Day Services, and now a Christmas Service "Reflect ~ Remember" can be added to the list. 

Several highly respected celebrants dedicated their time to share their feelings and help those in our community, who find Christmas

Celebrants receive all sorts of requests from families when they have a new baby in their midst.

Many people do not realise that just because a Naming ceremony is not a "Christening" the style of the ceremony does not have anti-god nor bland.

By Pat Slee
Civil Marriage and Family Celebrant
Brisbane and Suburbs Queensland
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Celebrant Member

 http://www.spotlightstars.com.au

What a great day to be a Celebrant..

A Naming Ceremony for a little lad, with all of his family all around in a beautiful location on the headland at Elliott Heads in Queensland.The request was for a "Spiritual.. not Religious" ceremony, so I dug into my English Heritage and borrowed from the ancient Wiccan philosophies.

I used the aspect of the 4 Elements as blessings and we (the little one's mother that is..) decorated the 4 Bears to reflect this powerful imagery.

From Robbie Fincham CMC

Melbourne Civil Marriage and Family Celebrant
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Celebrant Member
Vice Chairperson TCN Inc
www.robbiefincham.com.au

EMIKO AND PETER - 2012 GOLD ROSE ENTRANTS 193

On a beautifully sunny spring afternoon in Melbourne in October this year I had the pleasure of conducting the marriage between Emiko and Peter, incorporating a family blending ceremony.  Family and friends gathered on the banks of the Yarra River in Kew where the oldest operating boathouse in Victoria stands - the Studley Park Boathouse.  Being only a 10 minute drive from central Melbourne, you could be mistaken from thinking you were somewhere in the country, so natural is the setting with picturesque views of the Yarra River and the perfect setting for their ceremony.

Emiko was given away by her Father, who had flown in from Japan for the special occasion.

From Robyn O'Connell CMC
Melbourne Civil Celebrant
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Celebrant Member
www.silvercelebrants.com.au

Losing a loved one to death is hard. That loved one's absence is obvious - especially on those occasions when family and friends come together to celebrate their birthdays, anniversaries, shared beliefs or shared community times set aside for holidays.

Such times can be very lonely for those whose depth of grief is still acute. Being sad amongst others who are contented and happy can make that loneliness particularly painful.

Read More

From Rebecca Skinner
Celebrants & Celebrations Network Australia Celebrant Member
www.celebratinglifeschapters.com

Many cultures have celebrated a young person’s ‘coming-of-age’, and it is still marked in the Jewish community as a Bar and Bat Mitzvah, when boys turn 13 and girls 12 and in Korea by the Confucian ‘Gwallye’ from ages 15 upwards. But in Western cultures this tradition is all but ignored. The Celebrants and Celebrations network thinks it is high time to reintroduce this important ceremony.