The Celebrants Network Inc - BLOG

Most Australians plan to " do " their BUCKET LIST when they retire......they plan the trips with great precision and off they go ! They want to do/see/achieve their list before they die or "kick the bucket".

But it is very difficult to get Australians to plan their final days, death or funeral.......it is simply " not nice " to have the awkward discussion with their family members , so when the time comes , surviving family are left floundering.

Most Australians do not even get the terminology correct...." I lost my mother last week" (really....how careless , did you find her, I wonder? ) or worse ...." My mother passed last week " (do you mean she fainted or died?) 

And so - introducing Dying to Know Day (D2KDay) which wll be celebrated on 8th August.  

Dying to Know Day has events scheduled across the country.  They are designed to activate conversations and curiosity, build death literacy and help grow the capacity of individuals and community groups to take action toward end of life planning. You can find all the events on the D2KDay website

TCN supports the concept of D2KDay and has added a new section to our information about Loss and Grief ceremonies called Dying to Know Day. This section includes some useful links for exploring further and we would love you to send us questions and your requests for additional information so that we can build up further resources.

If you would like to talk more about planning a funeral, memorial or an end of life celebration why not call your local TCN funeral celebrant for ideas and information.

• affirm or encourage people at special events  e.g. Olympic Games, Presentation nights, graduations
• celebrate milestones in our individual life journey e.g. birthdays, anniversaries, retirement 
• acknowledge significant life-changing occasions e.g. namings/ christenings, engagements, marriages, funerals
• honour individuals or celebrate community values, e.g. memorials, Australia Day, Citizenship Day, Harmony Day

The pros and cons of a private ceremony

TCN celebrants have noticed a recent trend towards couples choosing to elope and having a small ceremony with just the celebrant and witnesses.  

On the plus side, these ceremonies can be romantic, fun, stress free and far less expensive than the traditional family occasion.  They are ideally suited to some couples.

The down side may be that family are genuinely hurt by being excluded from this important occasion. 

This can be difficult to understand, especially for couples who are already living together and who decide they just want to "make it legal" with minimum fuss.  

Sharing is Caring

However, if the couple think more deeply about the significance of the marriage ceremony they may see the value in a larger ceremony that involves family and friends.

The marriage ceremony results in changes of legal status and relationships.  The marriage partners become legally responsible for each other and any children of their relationship.  They also acquire new relationships with their in-laws - a new extended family and friendship group.  For the parents of "first time marrieds"  the marriage ceremony symbolically marks a "graduation" at which their work in raising a baby to adulthood formally ends. 

So in many ways a marriage is not just a relationship between two individuals. It is a formal and social relationship between two networks of family and friends.  Being part of the ceremony means a lot to those who love the couple.

"But big family weddings are too expensive - eloping cuts the cost!"

This can certainly be true.  So how can we have a big celebration for a small cost? 

This TCN article about having a big celebration on a low budget could assist your planning.

Share your ideas on how to involve family and friends in celebrations that are meaningful for everyone present … 

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Today we look at using Interpreters at marriage ceremonies conducted in compliance with Australian Law. Section 112 of the Marriage Act provides that ‘where a celebrant considers it desirable to do so, they may use the services  the services of an interpreter in or in connection with a marriage ceremony. ‘

What Does Section 112 Mean?

1. If you as the Celebrant are only able to conduct a ceremony in English and if either of the couple or the official witnesses do not speak/understand English fluently, an interpreter will be required.
   
   
2. The couple and witnesses MUST fully understand the legal components of the ceremony, which includes the Monitum and the legal vows.
   
   
3. It is the responsibility of the Celebrant to decide if an Interpreter is required.
   
   
4. It is advisable to use an Interpreter, if either or both of the couple are hearing impaired.

Who can be an Interpreter?

1. Where possible, it is best that the interpreter be an accredited interpreter through the National Accreditation Authority for Translators and Interpreters Ltd (NAATI) or another official agency. To find an interpreter, please visit: http://www.naati.com.au/
   
   
2.  The interpreter must be a person other than a member of the wedding party. Where a family or friend is used as an Interpreter the Celebrant must be confident that he/she is doing the job properly.
   
   
3. The Interpreter must provide a Statutory Declaration, prior to the wedding, stating their fluency in the relevant language. This must be witnessed by the Celebrant.
   
   
4. After the ceremony the Interpreter must provide a Certificate of  Faithful performance of his or her services. This must be witnessed by the Celebrant.

Who can be a Translator?

1. Your celebrant must be satisfied that the translation is a true and accurate translation of an offical document through NAATI or another official agency.
   
   
2. The National Accreditation Authority for Translators and Interpreters Ltd (NAATI) is the only agency to issue accreditations for practitioners who wish to work in this profession in Australia.
   
   
3. If you need a certified translation, please visit: http://www.naati.com.au/

The Difference Between an Interpreter and a Translator 

Interpreters and translators perform similar tasks, but in different settings. While an interpreter converts any spoken material from one language into a different language, as required in Wedding Ceremonies, a translator converts written material in the same manner, as required in the use of legal documents in relation to marriage. 

If you are unsure about your need to use an Interpreter, you may contact The Celebrants Network or the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section of the Australian government for more information. 

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When you hear somebody talking about how meaningful the ceremony was, what does that actually mean?  

Where does the meaning come from?

Does everybody who participates take away the same meaningful message?

Your ceremony might be more community centered, bringing the people of your town or city together to celebrate or to mourn or to remember.  The meaning comes from the shared emotion felt amongst your community.

Perhaps your ceremony is about welcoming a new child into your family. The meaning of which will be intensely personal to you and your family members.

You might be holding a ceremony to celebrate the end of an educational pursuit - the meaning in your graduation culminates from all the hard work that you've put in.  There are feelings of pride and acommplishment for what you've achieved.

When I started thinking about how we, as celebrants create meaningful ceremonies I wondered where we get our inspiration from and the answer is - from the very people we are performing the ceremony for. 

The meaning comes from you; your story, your love, your loss, your dreams, your past and your future.

The meaning in a ceremony is different for every person, every couple and every family.  No two ceremonies are alike, which is why your celebrant takes the time to get to know you and to learn your story.  Creating a ceremony that is both unique and meaningful to the couple or family is not a simple task and takes empathy, knowledge, experience, care and time.  

Here are some suggestions to how you could add meaning to your ceremony:

Add music

a favourite piece of the family member who has passed away; or a song that you and your partner love and feel tells your love story.

Add poetry

writing your own piece of poetry adds extra meaning becuase you have dedicated time and thought into how you feel.  Although, sometimes you find just the right words, that explain exactly how you feel have already been written by somebody else - which is fine as long as you credit their work.

Add a ritual

for some people, participating in a ritual makes what you are celebrating or mourning much deeper and heartfelt; It can help you to feel more connected.

Add a cultural element

the meaning will come from the pride you feel about your home and the traditions that you can share.

Stay true to who you are

your wedding doesn't become more meaningful based on how much money you spend on your reception.

Meaningful ceremonies take place when you are together, sharing a moment with the most important people in your life.

Why not contact one of our fabulous TCN Celebrants and let us create meaning ceremonies for you.

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With our youngsters, this could be way of allowing them to learn the benefits of giving by allowing them to nominate a birthday or perhaps simply organise a party where the aim is to fund-raise. The skills learned and the sense of achievement are wonderful gifts for our children and grandchildren - gifts for life. Rather than some toys that are soon forgotten.

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So, you are sitting there with your budget wondering why anyone could charge that much money for less than an hour’s work? 

Without the celebrant, your wedding is just a great party. The celebrant ensures that your party is actually a wedding. 

SO, how do you budget for your celebrant? First, you need to select your celebrant, and do that based on which one feels right for you, not based on their cost. And make sure that you book the date with them, and pay your deposit. 

Then, you can work out the best way to budget for the celebrant, in the same way you would budget for your cake, your reception, the photographer, the hairdresser. 

Some celebrants will happily work with you to organise a “lay by” scheme, whilst others have a scheduled three payment option. Talk with your celebrant about the best options for both of you. 

Having your perfect celebrant perform your perfect wedding ceremony is something that you will remember for the rest of your life.

With your perfect celebrant you can create magic on your wedding day and you can find your perfect celebrant in the TCN directory by clicking here.

READ MORE about Civil Celebrants by clicking here. 

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You (and your partner) have important things to be thinking about; your sole job today is to get married.  Leave all of the other side bits and pieces to somebody else.  Either employ a Day-of Wedding-Co-ordinator or ask a trusted friend to take care of all those last minute things.

Keep Up The Communication

It's important to keep up communication on the day of your wedding. With your fiance, check on how you are both feeling.  If you are choosing to not see each other before the ceremony, then you could write each other a little note confirming your feelings and putting their minds at ease; with your Day-of Co-ordinator/trusted friend, keeping them informed as things change (also a great idea is to give this person's phone number to your celebrant and other suppliers); with your bridal party - if you're feeling nervy, let them know so they can help you through it.

Let It Go

Photo Credit: Arina B. Photography

There are going to be things that go wrong - there I said it.  You have to accept that and move on.  The most important thing on this special day is not whether the flowers are the right colour or if the flowergirl tipped all the petals on the ground in one place, then stormed off...... The most important thing is that you and your partner get married.  Everything else is decoration and/or funny.

Find The Funny


Speaking of flowergirls doing the dump and run... being able to laugh relieves stress and nerves tremendously!  You might like to speak to your celebrant about including a funny story into your ceremony, helping you to relax whilst engaging your guests.

Why not contact our TCN Celebrants to ensure a stress free ceremony.

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It seems in recent times, more families, who would normally be choosing a civil funeral service, are having a private service or even a simple viewing to say 'goodbye' to their loved one, then organising a Memorial for the wider circle of family and friends a few weeks later. 

There may be many good reasons for taking this approach.

Flexibility with timing for the ceremony

Having a Memorial a few weeks after the death, gives extra time for planning the ceremony and more choice of day of the week, time of day, length and content of the ceremony, and location.  This flexibility can be very useful where family and friends are overseas or interstate.

The family can take time to find a civil celebrant who suits the style of tribute the family wants.  Civil celebrants are very flexible about the arrangements and will encourage family members to be involved in planning the ceremony and actively participating in it.

Consideration of Costs 

You may have a beautiful urn or hand crafted box with the deceased’s ashes as a focal point.  You may have a favourite photo, or display of personal items in place.

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If you're unsure how to go about starting this type of converstaion, there are people that can help you, like the organisation called: Death Over Dinner who recently featured on Ch 10's The Project who do exactly that - helping people to have that awkward conversation about your dying wishes.

You could also contact one of our wonderful TCN Funeral Celebrants to help you with ideas.

READ MORE about pre-funerals planning here.

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An indoor-outdoor venue

Spring certainly makes you think of flowers, new life and sunshine after the cold wintery months.  However, while a day full of glorious spring sunshine would be great, keep in mind that the weather is still a little unpredictable, so take this into consideration when you are choosing your venue.  

Book early!

Go seasonal

Be prepared

Be kind to your bridesmaids

Spring Gifts

Contact one of our TCN Celebrants and start sharing your spring wedding ideas!

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History of Blessingways

 

Bead Ceremony

Candle ceremony

 Massaging the Mother

Flowers

 

Belly Casting 

Prayer Flags

Post Birth Support

 

If you would like to know more about a Blessingway Ceremony - speak to a TCN Celebrant

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No matter how confident you are that your day will be perfect, there is always a chance it might rain or there might be an unscheduled heatwave or be too windy for your bridesmaids to stand up straight, or maybe the venue has just called to let you know they've started renovations..... you will have to make a snap decision as to what you're going to do.

Having a back up plan in place:

* makes things more relaxing for your guests, knowing they won't be uncomfortable

* takes the stress away from you on the day

*leaves you to enjoy your day in the sun..... or rain.

Do you have a story about having to change your wedding plans at the last minute?  

Share it in the comments.

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Mother’s Day Selfie:  Start another family tradition of taking funny selfies of your family with your Mum as the central figure.  Then you can print them out and make a collage of the day.  You can look back on that every day and remember how special your Mum is.

What about some fabulously fun ways for the grown ups to celebrate Mother’s Day?

A family reunion - gather all your beloved family members together at a park or someone’s backyard and whilst you bbq and share out the potato salad, you can share stories of why the mothers in the group are so wonderful.

Share in your Mum’s hobbies - maybe gardening is her passion, she might like old Doris Day movies, or she might just love pottering in the kitchen making those mini cakes she’s famous for - get in there with her.  Learn, laugh, love.

Surprise Mum with a “This Is Your Life” Ceremony - all you need to do is speak to a celebrant and together you can pull off the most fantastic surprise for your Mum.

Click here for more information

Every year my Mum says “All I would like is some flowers and and choccies.  I don’t need anything else.”  But she does get more than that, even if she doesn’t realise it.

I’m not talking about tangible, wrapped handkerchiefs or scented candles or soaps, I’m talking about the unconditional love, admiration and gratitude for everything that she does for me.  To me, she is more than my Mum - she’s my best friend and it brings a tear to my eye to even say the words ‘I’d be lost without her’, but there are lots of people out there who will be celebrating Mother’s Day without their Mums.  Your Mum will always be special and it's important to keep them in your memory.

* Make her favourite recipe

* Sew all her old scarves together into a patchwork quilt

 CLICK HERE you'll find some more lovely ideas to keep her close with you this Mother’s Day.

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What is your background in celebrancy?

I was appointed a Commonwealth Civil Marriage Celebrant at the age of 42, after working in schools and the health department in a range of roles. I was looking for a career that used my skills and talents, as well as give me the flexibility to work when I chose.

The goal was probably achievable given that a substantial number of celebrants were making a wage from the work - the statistics in 1995 indicated that celebrants averaged 64 weddings per celebrant per year, nothing like the 10-11 average now.

Although I had extensive experience from my previous careers, I had no training in business knowledge and skills.  Also, as a government appointee, one could not ‘tout for business’. One could not advertise in any way that made you stand out from another celebrant, a simple White or Yellow pages line was permissible as was a single line in the Public Notices of a local paper, Nothing more.

This next snippet was on a friend's Facebook page today.....

"A lovely military man selling poppies stopped me today and asked if he could re-position mine - while doing so he told me that women should wear their poppy on their right side; the red represents the blood of all those who gave their lives, the black represents the mourning of those who didn't have their loved ones return home, and the green leaf represents the grass and crops growing and future prosperity after the war destroyed so much. The leaf should be positioned at 11 o'clock to represent the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, the time that World War One formally ended. He was worried that younger generations wouldn't understand this and his generation wouldn't be around for much longer to teach them."

Lest we forget...

Talk to one of our celebrants who can assist you with preparing a ceremony.

Easter Celebrations

As with many other Christian dates, the celebration of Easter extends beyond the church and since its origins, it has been a time of celebration and feasting.

Easter Sunday morning is often filled with children (of all ages) searching for chocolate eggs and treats which have been mysteriously hidden all over the house and garden. According to the children's stories, the eggs were delivered by the Easter Bunny in an Easter basket which children find waiting for them when they wake up. (The Easter Bunny's motives for doing this have still not been clarified.)

 

These secular rituals often have origins in Christian symbolism; the eggs, for example, can be taken as signs of rebirth and resurrection. 

Some of Easter's symbols can be traced back still further; some (such as the Easter bunny, originally a hare) seem to have their origins in earlier pagan rituals celebrating nature's springtime rebirth.  In Australia it is not spring time, however we have adopted the tradition in keeping with our northern hemisphere cousins.




Whether you belong to a religion or not, there are plenty of ways to celebrate Easter...

Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day

Shrove Tuesday is the last day before Lent. In earlier days there were many foods that observant Christians would not eat during Lent such as meat and fish, eggs, and milky foods. So that no food was wasted, families would have a feast on the shriving Tuesday, and eat up all the foods that wouldn't last the forty days of Lent without going off.

Pancakes became associated with Shrove Tuesday because they were a dish that could use up perishable foodstuffs such as eggs, fats and milk, with just the addition of flour.

Many Australian groups and communities make and share pancakes on Shrove Tuesday. 

Selling pancakes to raise money for charity is also a popular activity - and that's what I call Partying with a purpose!

Family Reunion

Perhaps you and your family could use the public/bank holidays to reconnect with each other and to make it a more meaningful event, you could add a ceremony to your reunion celebrating all the fabulous events that have happened in all your family member's lives since the last time that you saw each other - you could invite your Family Celebrant to create a ceremony for your family gathering and make it an annual event!

What other Easter traditions are special to your family?

*  The creation of our brand new and improved website - more user friendly and easier to navigate, while still housing all the resources, articles, directories and forums that you could ever need.

* Our wonderful two day conference at the Novotel in Darling Harbour Sydney where our members met with old and new friends, heard some fabulous inspiring speakers and completed their annual professional development obligations.  

TCN is a national organisation that primarily communicates online, so it is possible for everyone to join in and participate in discussions and projects no matter where you are in Australia.  We are also continuing to build up a strong presence on social media with pages on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and Instagram

Our TCN Committee is a group of volunteers committed to supporting our members as well as strengthening the professionalism and expertise of all civil celebrants through our active involvement in the peak body, CoCA.

TCN members elect a new committee each year at the AGM in March, and we are very happy to welcome our new Committee for 2016-2017.

We very much look forward to a year of community, harmony, OPD days and special projects throughout the year. 

All celebrants and non-celebrant Affiliates are welcome to join TCN - Visit our webpage and see the fabulous resources and benefits we offer our Members.

Releasing the doves
The happy bride and groom release a pair of white doves — one male, the other female — into the air, which represent a harmonious life together for the newly married couple.



China:

Wardrobe Changes
In China, brides typically walk down the aisle in a slim-fitting, embroidered dress ... what is called a traditional qipao or cheongsam. For the reception, they change into a more poofy, decked out gown with Western flare. But the bridal fashion show doesn't end there! To cap the night, Chinese brides often make a final change into a cocktail dress. Total: three dresses!

This is what is so wonderful about living in such a multicultural society; each culture bringing with them their rich traditions and colourful customs. 

Together we stand in harmony

#harmondyday

Why not speak to one our many fabulous TCN Celebrants to see how you can incorproate cultural customs into your own wedding celebrations?

Every year on the 8th March women all over the world are celebrated.

So there is still much more work to be done!

 We, at TCN are all about the celebrations in life; and we are all for equality and human rights for everybody.

Celebrating Women

Here are some ways you can celebrate the women you know this month (and every month - why stop there?)

Note:  These tips are not just for men - women should be celebrating other women as well.

1. Tell your mother how precious she is to you and let her know you are thankful for everything she has done in her life

2. Show your sister that she is a very important person in your life

3. Encourage your daughter to be anything that she wants to be and let her know that her gender should never be a barrier

4. Visit your Grand Mother and use the annual Mothers Day to engage a celebrant for a special ceremony for all the mothers in your family

These are all very simple and easy things to do, so if you want to stretch yourself further a field......

6. Volunteer at or donate to a women's refuge

7. Donate money or your time to women's charities

8. Be the voice in your company or organisation who stands up for those women not being paid or treated fairly

Why not add a ceremony to the celebration of the women in your life? 

Contact a TCN celebrant to find out how

Read more about all the ways celebrants can assist you in celebrating life

The law in Australia at the moment is that legal marriage you must comply with these five things:

1. your relationship must be between a man and a woman

2. you must be 18 years of age or over *

3. you must not be married to anyone else

4. you cannot marry a person who is your antecedent or descendant by marriage or adoption

5. you must both be capable of and give free consent to marry the other 

If you can say yes to all five of those stipulations, then you are clear to start the getting married process with your celebrant.

Your first job, after finding your celebrant, is to complete the Notice of Intended Marriage form, commonly known as the NOIM.  Once this is filled in (your celebrant can help you) you lodge it with your celebrant.  This must be done no earlier than 18 months and no later than one whole month before your ceremony date.

Read more

If you are lucky enough to have found the one you love and they just happen to be the same sex as yourself then we are working hard to ensure that you are able to marry legally here in Australia.  However, until that time comes there are avenues in some states where you can register your union.  Click here for more information.

Why not speak to your celebrant about a Commitment ceremony or 'Betrothal' ceremony in preparation for full equality in marriage becoming legal in Australia?

Read More

* Under rare circumstances, a person between the age of 16 and 18 can marry, provided their prospective marriage partner is 18 years or over, and the couple have been granted permission by a Court as prescribed in the Marriage Act 1961.

Yesterday the latest edition of our TCN National Celebrant e-news was emailed to more than 7500 celebrants on our mailing list.  

Key points from the latest newsletter are:

ASK CELEBRANT BLOG:

Add a ceremony to your celebration!

Intuitively we know that a celebration is a way we mark important rites of passage.

Many Australians celebrate important events though, by having a booze-up and throwing in a few words towards the end.  We have forgotten that the food and drink were meant to accompany the speeches or ceremony, not be the celebration itself.

Without a meaningful core to the gathering, a celebration may be boring and unsatisfying and more likely to lead to excessive eating and drinking.

Ceremony is an Act of Love - quality time spent together, a way of re-establishing that meaningful core to the event.

READ MORE

By Roslyn Macfarlane,
Access Civil Ceremonies
 http://www.accesscc.com.au

Having just passed our 42^nd anniversary I have been giving some thought to having a ceremony to celebrate all of our years together.  Like most couples our journey through life has had some twists and turns,

some ups and downs and still, together we have created some wonderful memories.

Raising a family and having a successful, long term, loving marriage is an event worth celebrating and waiting for the major milestones to celebrate that makes sense in some ways, but when I think about it, there is no really good reason to wait.  Every year we have together as a couple and as a family is a blessing.  Fate can take us down any number of roads, and all too often we find ourselves wishing that we had acted on our good ideas sooner, rather than later.

So where do you begin to prepare for such a celebration?  Looking at the history so far; where it began, the roads you have travelled and the things that inspired you along the way can be a good place to start.  Bringing in elements of your life that have had significant impact such as holidays, professional achievements, social involvements and family.  If you  think a ceremony to celebrate your anniversary is a good idea then there are some wonderful ideas on the internet. 

Visit: Wedding anniversary ceremonies

What to do with those books gathering dust on your bookshelf?

Here is a fabulous, low-cost, easy and fun craft activity, which you can make yourself to decorate your ceremonial space.  

A unique decorative idea for a wedding ceremony or any special occasion.  

These lanterns are made entirely from old books and were made by my daughters at our local library school holiday lantern making workshop this week.

Why not gather your bridal party together and make many?

All you need is a book and some ribbon!!  The older and more ragged the book with yellowing pages the better as the final product gives a fabulous vintage look to your lantern.   Feel free to email me for the instructions at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Posted by Robbie Fincham Civil Celebrant, Melbourne

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: Problem is by the time I've reached this age, I'll probably need someone else to organise this for me!

So how can a congratulatory message be organised? Australians who are celebrating a special birthday or wedding anniversary can receive personal congratulations from the Prime Minister, Governor-General or The Queen.

Who is eligible for a congratulatory message?

• The Prime Minister will send a message of congratulations to people turning 90 years of age or more.
• The Queen and Governor-General will send a message on a 100th birthday.

Read more

ASKACELEBRANT Honours ALL Mothers Everywhere! 

Why celebrate with ceremony?

Because Mothers give of themselves in so many ways.  Plan now for this Mothers Day. Give a Mothers’ Day Gift that is special and unique!

Within the very busy and time poor world of today, seldom do we take the time to honour some of the vital and important ‘things and people’ in our everyday lives.

True we celebrate Birthdays, Christmas, Weddings, and so on, but when it comes to expressions of love and gratitude to certain people, especially our parents, and particularly our Mothers . . . we are inclined to fall into the ‘commercial trappings’ . . . for up until now, there have been few alternative options.

Read more on:

https://www.celebrations.org.au/everyone/content/63-celebrate-mothers-day 

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: We can pool our money and other resources to buy something really special such as making the celebration THE gift.

We could pool our $$$$ to engage a professional independent celebrant, rather than everyone buying their own individual gift.

Like well designed stage play, a special event may cost from $ 600 to $ 2000 or more. This may seem a lot, but is it really if the price is spread across a lot of people and the event has longer lasting benefits.

A $ 600 ceremony package can be covered by

• 20 participants donating $ 30 per head OR
• 50 participants at $ 12 OR
• 100 participants at $6 per head

A $ 2000 ceremony package can be covered by

• 20 participants donating $ 100 per head OR
• 50 participants at $ 40 OR
• 100 participants at $ 20 per head

READ MORE:

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: When Rona Goold TCN Coordinator celebrated her 20th Anniversary, she sent her 'sweetie husband" Steve a personal e-card on the theme of 'Life is a bowl of cherries' - when you have a good partner, where one's joined at the heart and that they made "a good pair" with this image :-)

Steve and Rona say that knowing each other's Love Languages is one way they strengthen their relationship.

 "Fortunately 'gift giving' is not high on either of our lists, but words of affirmation and acts of service are.On receiving his e-card, Steve declared that it is really great to feel so close that neither "gives each other the pip"!" says Rona

What are your words of advice to newly weds about strengthening their marriage over time?

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG:

Most professional civil celebrants are professionals in private practice.

That is, unlike most religious celebrants, the civil celebrant has to cover all their costs of operating a home-based celebrancy practice from the fees they charge 'up-front' for their ceremonies, BEFORE they make an hourly rate for their work.

Consider:

• Couples have not 'lay-buyed'  part of their ceremony as couples have via donations to a church or via government taxes to a Registry Office.
• A religious celebrant is usually supported financially by their church stipend and has their travel, phone and other expenses covered by their religious institution. Likewise registry office celebrant.
• A independent civil celebrant is required to ensure the ceremony suits the individual couple.
• In most cases, this requires considerable extra work in sourcing wedding prose, poetry and other materials, or even writing of new material by the celebrant.
• READ MORE

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG. Merry Christmas! Poem by TCN Melbourne Funeral Celebrant and Poet Graeme Cook.

This is the little verse I put inside a Christmas Card for all the families I have dealt with through each year. It's called  Merry Christmas! I’ll Be Home For Christmas.

Graeme Cook 2007

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: Valentine Day Ideas

Looking for ideas for love poetry?
Lyrics of love songs can be a great way to find an appropriate verse to recite or send a link or play at a romantic spot on the beach or pop in a card.
Google "love songs" or love songs for him or love songs for him or love songs 2015 for the latest etc.
Of course, the net is a great place to find all sorts of love poetry or verse.
Google "love songs" or love songs for him or love songs for him or love songs 2015 for the latest etc.

Or do you want to "pop" the question - "will you marry me"?
Here is a unique gentle way for you to show your interest in getting an answer from your loved one.

Download the Notice of Intended Marriage form from our Everyone  Section.
Fill in your half, fold and place in your Valentines Day with this little question . . .

Would you like to fill in the other half of this Form with me?

The form lasts for eighteen months once lodged with a Marriage Celebrant.

Please use our Celebrant directory website to find a local celebrant to suit you when plans advance that far.
Whilst this tip cannot go this far for couples wanting marriage equality, it is one way to show your intent should the legislation change 

By the way, we'd love to know if you use our tips. Look forward to seeing your comments here!

Note: From 1st April The Celebrants Network will be running its 2016 ASKACELEBRANT GOLD ROSE DRAW.

Booking one of our Gold Rose Celebrant after 1st April will put you in the draw for a cash prize of $500, $300 or $200.

It's our fun way of promoting our TCN Celebrant members!

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG:  We all love to see expressions of delight when we make a love gesture a surprise!  But what if this backfires?

People need to be psychologically prepared to be the focus of attention, even if it is for a short while, by knowing they are going to a party or an event. Elderly people may have even more difficulty being fully present to the occasion if they are not prepared.

So the TCNA does not recommend “total” surprises for anyone. And of course, under no circumstances can the bride or groom be surprised about their own wedding . . .

READ MORE

Civil ceremonies and celebrations for significant life events - for individuals, couples, families or communities - are designed and delivered to provide an inclusive environment in which to

• honour all people - respecting the diversity of their individual talents and skills; gender; sexual preference, race; family, educational, religious, social, cultural backgrounds; life experiences; beliefs; personal, emotional, spiritual, social and other needs

READ MORE

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: How often do we think "things" when considering a present for our parents, children or other family members and friends? Why not think about experiences that can never be repeated, that can bring pleasure to everyone, and to which everyone can donare the money to make it happen?

For the 55 and over age group "things" become less important, more things to dust and more things to say goodbye to when the time comes to downsize into a smaller place.

So why not make the celebration itself the gift?

READ MORE

The changes to society in the last 200 years in western culture have brought many benefits, but also many negatives

• people are separated from family support and roots by employment needs and thus young and old alike are more isolated. Thus at higher risk of depression.
• the wedding is too late for relationship education. Becoming an adult, leaving home, getting engaged are better times to promote those services

ASK A CELEBRANT  BLOG There are many things to consider in choosing a celebrant

Like a jigsaw puzzle, there are many things to consider before you have the full picture. Some people go on first impressions or “gut feelings”. Others choose on price – the least or most expensive. Yet others look for value for money.

Each of these on its own is rather limited when you consider the celebration can never be repeated!

But each has something valuable to consider, when trying to make the best decision for your situation.

Consider the celebrant’s ……..

Have you ever thought of giving a loved one a ceremony as a gift?  Perhaps this sounds a bit strange but think about it a bit more.  How many people recognise this scenario:

Your sister from interstate rings - "It's Mum's 80th birthday in 3 months time - what are we going to do about it?"  You talk a little more and decide that it would be a good time to get the family together and have a bit of a party to celebrate.  So the message goes out - the family are all primed to be at Mum's favourite restaurant where you have booked a private room for lunch on the big day.  A few of Mum's close friends are let in on the secret and invited and the plan is underway.

The next phone call is almost inevitable - "what shall we get Nan for a present? - it should be something special for her 80th"  So you talk to a friend who happens to be a Celebrant.  And this is what you come up with:

Let the celebration be the gift

Suggest to all attending that the very best gift for Mum will be the company and love of her family and friends. Agree that each will make a contribution to that gift by being a participant in the day.  Engage a Civil Celebrant to coordinate the arrangements and conduct a short ceremony before the lunch.  Decide to share the cost of the meal and Celebrant in whatever way is fair for your family and circumstances.  

Your Celebrant will put a lot of work into the day as Coordinator and Presenter.  She will work with you to design your ideal ceremony.  Her suggestions might include - Let the children and grandchildren nominate a role they will take on the day - to sing, play, read a poem, make a DVD from Mum's photos, compile a CD of songs from different eras of your Mum's life, present flowers, make a speech, bake a cake, escort Nan to the venue and so on.  Your celebrant will weave these contributions into a ceremony.  She may invite everyone who is attending to write a letter or card that shares some special memory they have of your Mum and compile these into a gift book.  She will probably record the highlights of Mum's life There are many possibilities and you will be able to discuss these and decide what suits your needs.

By the time the big day arrives you and your family will have created a unique gift for a special person.

To find a The Celebrants Network Celebrant to help you plan or to get more information and ideas for a special celebration have a look at our website

How do you and your partner celebrate your anniversaries? And what is it that you celebrate - the anniversary of first meeting, first moving in together or more traditionally, your wedding anniversary?

First thing of course is to remember the date!  This can be tricky as many of us know but it is usually greatly appreciated so well worth doing! 

Perhaps you are looking for a different and special way to celebrate this year.  Maybe it is a significant anniversary for you for some reason. It may be the number - 1st, 5th, 10th, 25th, 30th, 40th and 50th wedding anniversaries are often deemed more special,  But it may also be something else that is special this year - overcoming difficulties together, starting your family, having the last child leave home - the reasons are as individual as the couples who are celebrating.

Why not think about engaging a celebrant from the The Celebrants Network (TCN) to design and conduct a ceremony that meets your individual needs?  You can find a celebrant near you on our website .  You can also find lots of information about different ceremonies for anniversaries.  

Our TCN founder Rona Goold and her husband Steve had their 21st Wedding Anniversary last year and they asked TCN Celebrant Robyn Lenahan to conduct a ceremony for them.  

Rona made a YouTube video using pictures from their wedding to use as part of the ceremony, an example of an original idea that had significance for the guests at their celebration.  You can watch it here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua6Qv2Yn5_o&feature=youtu.be and enjoy the original song "I Wish For You" performed by the Two Macs which was first performed at Rona and Steve's wedding.

Tell us about your ideas for celebrating anniversaries by commenting below.

Our new TCN mobile website has loads of information on celebrants, ceremonies and celebrations for everyone  

http://www.celebrations.org.au/everyone. Topics such as - Fast find an Australian celebrant; Weddings and love ceremonies; Celebrating every stage of life; Ceremonies for loss and grief; Celebrations supplier directory; Win with a gold rose celebrant; About civil celebrants; About civil ceremonies.

Subscribe to this free Ask A Celebrant - TCN Blog now on : http://www.celebrations.org.au/everyone